May 8, 2013

Jodi Arias Personality Disorders Looks can be Deceiving

This Jury looks right past Jodi Arias's demure affectations, her Peter Pan collars and strategically worn Barrettes. They hopefully have taken note of her when she forgets to "act" the vapid soulless eyes that often turned in without a moments notice to a  bitter and hateful stare - this when some testimony or witness got too close to the truth
Within this entire trial Arias's eyes are usually encased behind her cleverly procured for the occasion non prescription librarian "glasses". If the jurors pay attention to such things they will notice oddly Araias reads next to nothing and thus reading glasses are obviously a prop.

I hope the jurors have paid close attention to those eyes and her entire arranged face for that matter when a witnesses testifies about something that puts her in a bad light or even witnesses she dislikes such as Travis Alexanders other Girlfriends testify. Here we have seen actual unabashed stares.
there is no doubt she is an Sociiopath and thus an actress albeit transparent at times.

.Months and months of this drawn out trial has only insured  all evidence indicates that she pre-meditatively murdered Travis Alexander in a drawn out brutal fashion simply because she could not " have him" - and she would be damned if another woman "won"

The Alexander family needs not only a guilty verdict for Travis, they also deserve the appropriate sentence. which can only be what Arizona Law dictates for cases with such aggravating factors and zero mitigating factors, despite what this defense is most assuredly going to trot out for us.

What this murder should teach us is that women can be as dangerous as men - or worse in some cases because of societal mores and beliefs re women's non violent natures their weaker physical prowess add attractiveness and personality disorder to the mix and we have an extremely volatile person often laying in wait.

Unfortunately we are still programmed as a society to not think of women as potentially violent dangerous or life threatening. This needs to change. Sociopaths come in all shapes and sizes and when attractive this makes them more dangerous whether male or female.

At the very first sign of stalking, over the top possessiveness and certainly destruction of property whereupon one even suspects someone they are dating.might be guilty anyone and everyone must report the incidents to police and follow through:  ie Travis Alexander's tires were slashed twice when he began dating a different woman following his break up with Arias.

Tragically he did not follow up with Police regarding that tire slashing incident as well as a second tire slashing and an episode where his home alarm went off while his new girlfriend was over his house.

In the latter incident Travis and his new gal pal investigated and no one discovered within the house. Again, pursue the incident to Police creating an incident report and tell police your suspicions and stay away accordingly.

These seemingly small decisions are often the ones that can become life and death decisions within a relationships where one party albeit unbeknownst to the other party has a personality disorder. Yet these are the symptoms of such disorders and must be taken extremely seriously!

Travis did call Police back at some juncture to set up a follow up meeting about the tires slashing but  police were unable to reach him by phone when they tried to follow up on the complaint. This might be the same reason that women in stalking and partner violence situations,begin to waver about making official reports because the offender either reinserts them-self in their life or seems to go away and the victim doesn't want any waves.

In this case Alexander had begun a rekindling of a purely sexual clandestine relationship with Arias and obviously he saw the acts as nuisances rather than the flashing red danger signs that they were..

This is something that is all too common-place for women but we are not used to seeing this happen to/ with men. ie  Many women who have been battered, abused or threatened within relationships, will recant reports made to Police - as well as prosecutors and/or judges, if the crimes have made it to the court system.

This is due to a constellation of reasons, most prominent of which is the " battered woman's syndrome" a term coined by Lenore Williams a pioneer inn the field of abusive relationships and men that domestic predators. Ms Williams who has been interviewed about this case, has websites and several books worth reading and they may just save the life of you or someone you love.

The basic synapses of the syndrome in very very  is that within abusive relationships whether physical, emotional abuse or both, there are often high volatile episodes that involve either direct violence, which includes things like punching walls, blocking doors and threatening which too many teenagers and women don't see as violence. But in Arias's case, it was a relatively very short highly charged union that soured quickly when Arias's ant social behaviors began to surface.

Surreptitious acts of destruction of property and stalking behaviors such as the house alarm being triggered when a new girlfriend was at Travis's house Too often the victim if female is fearful but even if she is angry the same rules apply whereupon the aggressor will follow such acts up with" honeymoon period" where especially if the person has been hit or battered the batterer goes into a mode whereupon they realize they must reel back in their victim/ partner and they will use extremely solicitous behavior uncharacteristic affection, they might cry and be apologetic give gifts etc. In Arias's case, she used what she knew worked in the past - sex as a palliative measure, temporarily making him, the victim in this case, forget how serious this predation by Arias really was. Behaviors like this tend to escalate they rarely disappear, especially if one continues communicating with the disordered person.

Arias being a consummate psychopath used what she knew was Travis's weakness -albeit with his Mormon faith he seemed to carry a guilty conscience about his sex with Arias and sex in general.

It certainly appears that although highly sexual with Arias Travis Alexander had a mindset that she was dirty or bad for engaging in the things that he himself desired and almost perpetually pursued with her. Ironically, it would appear that part of his disdain for Arias might have been that she was too sexual despite the fact that he enjoyed it physically  At the same time, his religious teachings created a guilt which he transferred onto Arias once calling her " the perfect whore" etc.

Those words and other from Travis were from taped phone conversations, text messages and emails between Travis and Arias when the two were at the height of their dating / sexual relationship.Arias claims that Travis knew she was taping some phone calls as an aphrodisiac they could share replaying at some later date but this remains to be seen.

I have heard a few tapes and in at least one, Travis seemed to preface by saying lets start with normal life stuff and go from there" This leaves me to believe that he knew that at least one conversation was being taped but again his language was rife with trepidation conflict shame - experimenting with taping phone sex with Arias certainly was against his  Mormon dictum and his sex drive were pulling him in two directions.

This was a young man extremely conflicted about sex and women. According to arias after sexual relations with her from the start he would supposedly be cold and distant immediately afterwards. This supports a shame and disgust with her for being a willing participant to his desires. That shame, guilt transposed itself as disgust and coldness to Arias who became enraged eventually because she had hoped to use sex as a lure a way to"guarantee that she won Travis over by fulfilling his every sexual need and playing the "whore"

After the two broke up Arias undoubtedly figured she'd use her feminine sexual wiles as a way to
A)foist herself back into Travis's space and life. Once he'd begun dating other women and she perceived rejection and abandonment this is when I believe Arias got her grandmothers gun and began contemplating killing Travis. The phony robbery she set up at her grandmothers was 8 weeks prior to Travis's murder. Once she learned that Travis had changed the name on what had once been her ticket to Cancun Mexico, a trip Travis and friends had planned for months, Arias decided that if she didn't win him back and knock the other women out of his life, she was going to kill him.

On the day of the murder Arias posed nude in provocative sexual photos either during or after their daily sexual encounter. Several photos of Travis were taken where he looked somewhat apathetic for his part and not posing but rather in repose on his bed.

My guess is that Travis was immediately regretting having spent the time with Arias despite the fact that he willingly had sex with her. His face in the first shower photos looks annoyed. Some say he looks frightened, perhaps Arias was brandishing either a gun or knife at that point.

My first impression of the full face photo was that he looked annoyed with her, probably not wanting Arias to be taking his photos in the shower. The sex was over and he probably wanted her out . Even when times were "good" between the two Arias claims and this I do believe, that Alexander was always cold after they had any sexual relations once refusing to kiss her goodbye because he hadnt showered off the "lovemaking".

In Arias mind Travis was in full post sex mode and with the break up and the slashed tires things these qualities were probably exaggerated Travis was " washing her off of his body"

Remember he was readying himself to go on a trip with another woman and had just had a days sex romp with his ex girlfriend, a woman none of his friends approved of and indeed they all thought she was guilty of the tire slashing s on Travis car that had happened twice within two months period,
No-one was supposed to know he was physically involved with Jodi Arias.

The camera Arias used on Travis in the shower that ultimately caught a shot of her leg dragging his bloodied body was the same very expensive new Sony that he'd purchased for the Cancun trip (. It listed for 3800 dollars.)

Arias claimed in her third version of the crimes that Travis yelled at her for dropping his camera and body slammed her. This I do not believe at all.  She claimed Travis got angry easily throughout their union  and this has been verified by other women that dated him, although none reported physical violence except Arias. But.... Travis at 30 years of age had not had long term relationships and as such we don't know if there is any truth to her claims that he had a short fuse.

 She claimed in her last statement to police that she scratched a CD that belonged to Travis during that sex romp murder day and that he had begun to berate her his anger escalating adding that his dog ran out of the room at the first sign of his masters temper. She added that this was a common happening when Alexander lost his temper. I hate to say it but this detail of that day amidst all of her lies, sounds as if it might be the truth; Animals do often run when their owners get angry, and if the owner has had the dog or cat for any length of time. and a habit of angering easily or often this makes a lot of sense.

I do think from what I can garner about Travis Alexander that he appears to have been a somewhat brooding or depressed young man. Many of his of the photos of him show a forced half smile that doesn't appear natural. At first I thought it was because the photos were taken by Arias or they were together in the photos. Then I saw a slew of photos of Travis before he met Jodi Arias and there was that same telltale These include family photos vacation photos and others. As I've said I do feel that Travis Alexander had some emotional and or psychological issues that we may never be fully aware of in hindsight.

Friends certainly don't want to speak critically of someone who has been violently victimized in a murder, not to mention, people in general simply aren't aware of subtler aspects of adult psychology, it is just not a part of our collective conscience.

However, with all of the violent crime that has befallen our nation, our societies, mental illness personality disorders are beginning to receive a bit more attention as its become painfully clear via repetitive violence that if we are to stop this escalation of violent crime,  everyone needs to take responsibility for increasing their own awareness and knowledge regarding all aberrant behaviors, not simply "mental illness" as some vague culprit. There are personality disorders that have nothing to do with mental illness. They are completely different than say bi polar and other mood  disorders, much less things like Schizophrenia and true mental illness where voices and hallucinations often occur.

We can no longer afford to be apathetic regarding all psychological disorders and conditions that make the likelihood of violence that much more likely. More often than not the people that commit singular brutal partner violence like this have shown symptoms that others have ignored or not taken seriously enough . The same can be said of mass murders serial murderers pedophiles and child abductors and murderers to terrorists of the domestic variety ie partner violence.

What is not the answer is the existing  trend  borne of fear and ignorance -  withl the media often guilty of spreading misinformation which can lead to prejudice of anyone who is different behavioral wise; This has led to  lumping brain syndromes such as Autism/ Aspergers with completely different mental illness or mood disorders, usually ignoring the statistically most dangerous anti -social personality disorder aka ie a sociopath. also known as a psychopath.

 We are just not used to females especially ones that are attractive and carry themselves with a girlish demeanor  Do not be fooled. Women can be extremely dangerous narcissists and sociopaths - ie think Carla Homolka, one of the worst sociopath serial rapist/ murderess in Canadian history;  Blonde, blue eyed and pretty, she helped her fiance, also blonde attractive  rape and kill first her own sister who was 14, then four teenagers who carla would lure into thier car asking directions, kidnappe at knife point and helf them for days in their middle class suburban home torturing and raping them together before murdering them and disposing of their bodies in horrible fashions.

Carla Homolka is now a free woman and word is she moved to the united states after giving birth to a child after her prison sentence was over. Shed perceived a plea deal based upon flipping on her husband and claiming battered women syndrome as the provocateur of her participation  Years later video tapes surfaced that her lawyer had in his possession showing the rapes of 7 women and homolka completely enjoying herself torturing these innocent young girls acting as director not some fear filled compliant victim in her own rite as shed managed to convince a prosecutor and a jury years prior. By the time the tapes surfaced the plea deal had been made homolka was in a minimum security prison where photos showed her in evening dresses partying with other women in the " prison"  .

Sociopathology is undoubtedly one of the personality disorders that Jodi Arias has it involves a lack of empathy and true conscience. It has been bandied about that arias is also a borderline personality disordered women which as an armchair researcher I'd say BPD is on the mark as well; Arias fits about 9 of the required symptoms in the DSM .- which is the bible for mental illnesses personality disorders and brain syndromes.(One can find it online kindle or at a good old fashioned bookstore.)

One of the key features of borderline Personality disorder which women seem to have 10 times more than men, is a lack of depth, chaotic personal lives especially relationships, a propensity to swing to extremes, deep seated insecurity and lastly and most importantly fear and loathing of perceived imagined or actual rejection.

The lesson that we can all take from this terrible murder is to acquire as much knowledge about the symptoms of personality disorders, there are a gaggle of them, including narcissism which have the potential to make for dangerous relationships, be it romantic, workplace friendship or family.

High is the time that our society makes this knowledge mandatory for all people, starting with our teenagers as the enter the world of dating.

I personally kneww nothing of this until almost being killed by a sociopath who I didn't recognize as such. Years after the crimes I felt the need to validate what had happened and began this journey of research and awareness, my mind and heart intent on helping others to not make the same near fatal  mistakes borne of simple innocence and ignorance..

We cannot afford to be "innocent" any longer. While Personality disorders do not immediately equate with violence. There are a bevy of them including more innocuous ones such as dependency Personality disorder, avoidant P- disorder etc, but A handful such as Sociopaths Narcissists Borderline Personality disorders do carry a much higher statistical likelihood of committing  violent behavior.

At the very least, the most dangerous higher functioning PDs often cause constant upheaval in the lives that they intersect with as well they will  more often commit criminal behaviors such as fraud, theft destruction of property, stalking,assault and murder. The common thread of a lack of true empathy and  a self centered psychological mindset a gift for manipulating and deceit combine to make these people  not only violent but parasitical volatile and leaving the bewildered people who have had the misfortune of being related to them working with them or simply accidently " befriending them, with their own lives in turmoil having been a victim even without violence.

The answer: is to aqauint yourselves with this entire realm of psychiatric disorders; these people are everywhere in our day to day lives and because we are pre- programmed to think of murderers rapists and batterers as dripping with eccentric behaviors and appearances that  are " different" this is ridiculous.  The most dangerous blend in.

There are many good websites re Personality disorders that explain in laymen terms the key features and warning signs etc of  such persons.. We cannot afford the ignorance we have allowed ourselves any longer.

 Learn from this horrible murder, Our future generations safety and wholeness depends on how we choose as individuals and a society to inform ourselves first and then lay the foundation of our newfound awareness regarding the slightest of  character nuances of persons who are likely to commit crimes like this and or many other destructive behaviors that can maim our children's lives.