Aug 1, 2008

Warning Signs of Abusive Relationship

The link above brings you to the Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence website and a list of the warning signs of abusive relationships.

This next link brings you to website called It is a teen dating violence prevention site, and includes a live web based helpline for teens as well as a new 1 800 phone line for teens who need help with dating violence issues. The national hotline is (866) 331 9474

This information is for important for anyone who thinks that they might be in an abusive relationship as well family friends co-workers of someone that we suspect might be in such a situation.

Everyone should become familiar with the signs of abusive behavior and this includes teenagers of dating age. And while this may seem premature to some parents, it truly isn't; teen dating violence is on the rise in the U.S, and as long as our youth are dating at younger ages, this information needs to become common knowledge. I cannot stress this enough-These seeds planted early in life will help save lives in the future. Knowledge and awareness equals power. We will be in effect preemptively reducing partner violence by facing it head on.

In most cases of abusive relationships, it is statistically girls and women who are most vulnerable, although boys/men can be abused as well . As such, we must familiarize our girls with the basic tenets of abuse- What it is, how we know if its happening, the hallmarks of the abusive personality and what to do about it if it is happening to us or someone that we know.

Most often physical abuse is preceded by emotional and/or verbal abuse-Sometimes the person will verbally abuse their partner in front of others, but many times, they do so in private, relying on an acceptable respectable facade in front of others.
This is the most dangerous type of abuser, as he is showing the propensity for deceitfulness and manipulation, hallmarks of sociopathic behavior, which according to the DSM, (diagnostic statistical manual), is termed "conduct disorder" when it begins before the age of 17.
It is usually a precursor to full blown sociopath status by the time the child/teen becomes an adult.

Sociopaths are predators and we need our young people to identify and avoid such people at all costs. This isn't often easy for many adults, as sociopaths can be the proverbial wolf in sheep's clothing. They can be expert at charming and manipulating others. Sizing up peoples needs and weaknesses in order to procure whatever it is that they happen to want from them.

They see others as potential victims, marks in effect, to take what they can from, In this way they are parasites and have no conscience or compunction about this. In fact, they hold their victims in disdain for being victimized. And rarely will they ever admit guilt. They recognize that what they do is wrong in society's eyes thus manipulation and deceitfulness become as necessary to them as the air is to the rest of us... Is it any wonder that most people are acutely uncomfortable even thinking about their existence among us-After all, this goes what I have just described goes against everything that we are taught is right, is human.

But the sad Fact is that they are among us and they are dangerous. For this reason we need to become comfortable ourselves, learning about this difficult subject And talking about them-Our teens particularly our girls, do not stand a chance if we continue to avoid educating them about the realm of predators in the world, either because it is unpleasant, because we are afraid they cannot process it emotionally, or worse, because we ourselves choose not to avail ourselves of this knowledge.

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