Jul 31, 2010

Anita van der Sloot will not visit her son in Jail

Finally, some responsible behavior from the now sole- parent of a serial killer. And yes, I strongly suspect this man has killed other women that have yet to be discovered or officially announced.

Perhaps if these same parents had not propped up and protected their son after his last...um mishap with the law ( facetious reference to Natalee Holloway's murder -I do not mean this disrespectfully to Natalee or her loved ones ) the murder of Stephanie Flores might very
well not have happened.

I see this again and again with killers of this ilk: Born to middle class or upper-middle class families, their parents commonly will not only refuse to hold their "children" responsible or accountable for crimes that they commit throughout their lives, but indeed, aid and abet them in escaping culpability when invariably caught by school and/or criminal authorities.

This behavior often begins in tween/teenage years, typically starting with acts less serious than murder. Chronic lying and conniving behavior, Physical assaults on peers, girlfriends or even family members, fire-starting, vandalism/break-ins/thefts, and sometimes cruelty to animals - Any of these are clear signposts for the young sociopath in the making, who usually evolves from what is known as" conduct disorder" or " oppositional-defiant disorder" (ODD) the designation for such by the psychiatric community when a child is under the age of 17.
These formal diagnosis' will too often go formally undiagnosed, largely due to parents entrenched in a thick denial regarding the seriousness of their child's issues ( at least denial toward the outside world.) and at times parents will even be found repeatedly covering up/lying for the child/teenager/young adult.

Within the home, the issues might be openly or quietly discussed and hand wringing may abound between parents and other family members- but when it comes to the world outside the home, parents can perceive their children's negative behaviors and actions as a possible reflection on their parenting, and their families ?name" and thus, if they are forthright and honest about their child, they risk being judged .

It then becomes even more important to deny deny and deny some more and when even that becomes impossible, the excuse making and outright covering up for the problem child begins. Likely this is the point where Joran Von Der sloots father found himself on the night that Natalee Holloway disappeared. Now, what began as over indulgent father permissive who too often looked the other way,denial, and irresponsible parenting turned deadly with the then teenage Joran. We have heard many attestations that Joran was a pathological liar and no doubt he lied to his mother about the circumstances surrounding her death and his involvement with it but many of us have suspected that Joran might have shared much more with his father that fateful night with his father perhaps even being complicit after the crime in some clean up of the crime scene. This was always my feeling and when his father died of a heart attack just a few years after the crime I was not surprised as the weight and stress of knowing your own child has killed someone - well that can do great damage to the psyche and the body of a person with a conscience-ie a non sociopath and I believe he was just that-but a weak man an irresponsible parent and human being none the less.

I see this over and over again with men who wind up becoming rapists and murderers. When tracing their histories you will so often find this same brand of parental denial and even shielding of the "problem" child / teen and later, even the young adult. I find it reprehensible because I recognize that many of these murderers in the making could have been stopped dead in their tracks with proper intervention by parents and the legal system - the very first time they are caught committing an act of criminality.

I've given it a lot of thought and consideration and spoken with many parents about this, posing it as a hypothetical real life moral dilemma that they would have to face in their own lives.
I have queried my own mother at length, as to what she would see herself doing if first off I were a son, rather than a daughter, and had been accused of committing an act of criminal brutality against a vulnerable person resulting in serious harm or death--Would she stand by me no matter what I did because "I was her flesh and blood" and more importantly would she help me to escape accountability by doing things like posting bail and hiring expensive attorneys, investigators specialists and the like----?

Well first there is the issue of getting to the truth of what happened, as the Jo ran Van Der Sloot's of the world like Joshua komisarjevsky, are not likely to come clean with their parents about committing an act of terrible violence against a defenseless person. Although sometimes when caught dead to rights with witnesses or irrefutable proof , the sociopath will spin some tale of self defense or "accidental" scuffle resulting somehow always with the victim- a woman-falling and hitting her head - or--breaking her arm---or catching ans elbow in her eye.

The Point is, murderers are not made overnight - they evolve. And in that evolution various people have influence over that "problem" child turned adolescent turned young adult.
And it is obviously crucial what role parents other relatives police and judges take at the very first signs of conduct disorder or serious oppositional-defiant disorder-both disorders flashing neon lights that a child or teenager is likely to develop full blown anti-social personality disorder- ie sociopath, aka psychopath, if no intervention is taken.

And even then SOCIOPATHS are considered incurable, but some kind of intervention is appropriate especially in children and teenagers who have not yet crossed the boundary of maiming someone or taking another life. Treatment is aimed n hopes of moderating the worst symptoms -the ones that involve hurting others, breaking laws and running havoc upon other peoples lives ( ie con artistry is another classic sociopath trait)

And to clarify here: anti-social personality disorder does not mean this person is not "sociable",or social - as some people mistakenly believe, taking the dam's definition literally ie DSM diagnostic statistical manual 's for what is also referred to as a sociopath.
In fact, many of our worst sociopaths that wreak the most harm and havoc upon lives and the world at large, can be somewhat to very charming, when they wish to be, iie think ted Bondy,Charles Manson David koresh etc: Along with that charm comes a high level of manipulation and deception also part and parcel of the Sociopath M.O.

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