Jun 15, 2012

Father’s Day & Survivor’s Guilt?

"Witnessing domestic violence can affect children’s future relationships. It can mean that they are more likely to be abusive or abused. Children who grow up in a home where abuse occurs often have trouble connecting with, trusting and engaging with an intimate partner. This can lead to a lifetime of solitude or unhappiness.

Children who witness domestic abuse sometimes internalize the situation and begin to blame themselves for what is happening. They feel that they are the cause of the violence. These children often suffer from intense depression, suicidal tendencies, high anxiety levels and sometimes even develop post traumatic stress disorder.

Some children do the opposite, though, and externalize their home life (Safe Start Center). They can become highly aggressive or unruly, lashing out and misbehaving in other aspects of their life.

Witnessing domestic violence in the home can affect children physiologically, too. The American Academy of Family Physicians reports that children who live in violent households are at a higher risk of developing stomach problems or chronic headaches. They often have trouble focusing and learning in school."

The above italicized text is an excerpt from a linked article from the National Domestic Violence Hotline Website. The NDVH is an incredible resource for both men and women and even teenagers, who may need some guidance in determining if certain behaviors that they are experiencing are in fact abuse - or could lead to abuse.

This is the kind of information that can make the difference between life and death down the line, for a young person new to the world of dating and relationships.

In the meantime, Happy Fathers day to all of you Dads.
You are each so very important in your children's healthy upbringing. Please strive to be loving, healthy male role models, not only for your own children but for every life that your life touches, be it directly or through example.

As this article points out, children see and hear much more than adults realize and they are deeply affected by even threats of abuse in thier own or other peoples households.

May your example be that a man is intolerant of abuse of any kind. And if a man should find himself enmeshed on the rink of abuse or even having having committed abuse, be courageous responsible after the fact, and get the help and counseling that is readily available for men who have issues with violence and anger control.

You will not be demonized if you seek help, this is the first step for the aggressor towards ending the cycl of abuse and violence..

Father’s Day, Survivor’s Guilt

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