Nov 9, 2009

Rihanna: 'No Soul' in Chris Brown's Eyes

Despite the fact that this case involved partner violence and all of its trappings I've stayed away from this story for some time because so much publicity was being given to the case and almost all of it the wrong kind-You know,the kind that would seem to delight in the ugliness of the rich and celebrity falling down on their faces, if you will.

But the other day I caught some of the Rhianna interview with Dianne sawyer and I was soon Struck with respect and admiration for this young woman, who despite a very public experience with severe interpersonal violence, managed to defy the worlds expectations, my own included, and extricate herself from her clearly dangerous relationship with Chris Brown and learn some important things about herself through this ordeal.

For a time just following the assault there was evidence that Rhianna had returned to the relationship- at one point being very vocal about her lack of desire or the need for that matter for the protective order against Chris Brown, which the presiding judge wisely ordered despite her complaints for a minimum of one year.
In fact It seemed almost a foregone conclusion at that point that Rhianna had fallen victim to one version or another of the classic " battered woman syndrome", a variation of the Stockholm syndrome ,whereupon victims of abuse are trapped in a cycle of violence and conciliatory gestures aka the honeymoon period following the episodes of abuse. Bear in mind that this is a very pared down and simplistic definition of these relationships, there are many dynamics at play and very often a victim of ongoing abuse has to be deprogrammed in order to truly break away long enough to pull back and view her own predicament realistically. I think that Rhianna, by the grace of god, was the recipient of some serious intervention and thankfully had the strength to listen, and ultimately listened to her own inner voice, which the longer she was away from the abusive relationship, the louder it became.

So today whilst mulling over the aforementioned interview and what I wanted to write about it on this very forum, the abovetitled caption on a webpage grabbed my attention; I was immedietly compelled to read more about this statement re Browns "soulless eyes."
I instinctively knew exactly what that meant.

 I too have seen those "soulless" eyes.

In fact, I tried to describe this very phenomenon to the local area detective who was assigned to my criminal case many years ago; I believe I likened my assailants eyes during and after the attack to a souless animal .human.

As a survivor nyself there were a good many things that I related to with Rhianna but one of the most emotional for me was something that she said about thinking that the assault upon her seemed to " go on and on and on " and she just kept "wondering "when is it going to stop?"

When I read those words, that exact emotional remembrance flooded back, it seemed the crimes had just happened,, rather than the eight years which have passed since then.

To be Continued as  I have a feeling Ms Rhianna is srill stuck in the cycle.

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