I deliberated long and hard whether or not to link to this latest article regarding the petit crimes. The reason for my reluctance is two-fold. One is the fact that at times the writer almost sounds empathetic to the plight of these two cowardly rapist murderers,particulary the younger of the two men- because of an alleged sexual molestation that took place in his childhood. This of course is ludicrous as there are many of us in this world who have been harmed terribly by others, yet do not choose to go out and committ robberies, assaults and murders years later.
Within the article there are also some very heartbreaking details regarding the Petit families last hours that are so disturbing I know that they will never leave me, nor many readers.
.
I deliberated whether it was unkind, insensitive or unfair to the surviving family to assist in the exposure of the infuriating details of the abuse that the Petit family suffered...And for that matter I wondered, was I now part of the problem, rather than the solution that I aimed to be, by pulling the curtain back in effect, on what may be considered private details of these brave ladies last hours on this earth?
In the end after much meditation and prayer, I decided that no matter how distasteful and upsetting these new details of the crimes against this family are, and despite the at times over-humanizing of the two monsters that committed these acts of cowardice and brutality, we as a people need to know the true horror that this family experienced for nearly 7 hours on that fateful day in July; for only in the reality of these details can we finally finally understand just how imperative it is for our justice system to become responsible to the law abiding people of this state. Our government has failed us again and again and again. They have literally sold our collective blood, our bodies, and our very sense of right and wrong- for little more than taking the easiest, cheapest path.
Shame on those in our system who have done so little for so long.
Prelude To Horror -- Courant.com
Oct 31, 2007
Oct 25, 2007
In Grief, Family Finds a Mission - New York Times
A family In New York resurrected the life of their murdered daughter, by setting up a foundation that helps prevent violent crime for off campus college students
In Grief, Family Finds a Mission - New York Times
In Grief, Family Finds a Mission - New York Times
Oct 24, 2007
The Middletown Press - Warrants outline details in family slaying
Clicking on the title header will bring you to a link that has copies of the warrants in the petit crimes-A good deal of them are blacked out, and anything pertaining to confessions has been omitted as the courts dont want a later claim of tainted jury pool, thus a later mistrial once these reprobates are found guilty-and they will be, but not soon enough.
Be warned- the information is upsetting and truly brings a sense of reality of the evil involved with the entire thing. The only reason I am linking to this is because I truly believe that the public needs to get a genuine sense of the horror that this family went through in order to see how important it is to get our justice system together in this state-whatever it takes!
If connecticut had done what it should have with these two men who had obvious chronic criminal behavior-giving them and holding them to thier full sentences as allowed by law, this crime never would have happened. The PETIT family would be living thier lives as they were, decent, good, kind, law abiding people.
Please get involved with criminal justice reform in this state and any other that shares the same loose, lackadaisical attitude-You do not need to wait until something brutal like this happens in your area to impose or tighten up your sentencing laws!
Educate yourself, write your congressmen, your Governor, your Attorney General- here in Connecticut, this is Richard Blumenthal in hartford.
Unite with others who are like minded, familiarize yourself with the many holes in our systems. Organize petitions and rallies. Do not continue to put your heads in the sand, for this is the biggest enemy of justice ; complacency and indifference. Though Indignance over this crime, and others like it is not enough. Take action, even in the smallest of ways, it makes a difference.
God bless Dr Petit and the Hawke-Petit families, may you heal well, you are in our prayers every day.
Be warned- the information is upsetting and truly brings a sense of reality of the evil involved with the entire thing. The only reason I am linking to this is because I truly believe that the public needs to get a genuine sense of the horror that this family went through in order to see how important it is to get our justice system together in this state-whatever it takes!
If connecticut had done what it should have with these two men who had obvious chronic criminal behavior-giving them and holding them to thier full sentences as allowed by law, this crime never would have happened. The PETIT family would be living thier lives as they were, decent, good, kind, law abiding people.
Please get involved with criminal justice reform in this state and any other that shares the same loose, lackadaisical attitude-You do not need to wait until something brutal like this happens in your area to impose or tighten up your sentencing laws!
Educate yourself, write your congressmen, your Governor, your Attorney General- here in Connecticut, this is Richard Blumenthal in hartford.
Unite with others who are like minded, familiarize yourself with the many holes in our systems. Organize petitions and rallies. Do not continue to put your heads in the sand, for this is the biggest enemy of justice ; complacency and indifference. Though Indignance over this crime, and others like it is not enough. Take action, even in the smallest of ways, it makes a difference.
God bless Dr Petit and the Hawke-Petit families, may you heal well, you are in our prayers every day.
Oct 22, 2007
Judge: Unseal Cheshire Affidavits -- Courant.com
Judge: Unseal Cheshire Affidavits -- Courant.com
Just wanted to get this latest development in The Petit case out as it should affect what we all are able to read about this crime in the near future. There has been a lid on many of the details regarding the confessions that both murderers made to police shortly after thier arrests;
This due to both the defense and the states appeal to seal the warrant records from the press, each for thier own differnet reasons; The defense sighted the concern that the claim could be made down the line that a fair and impartial jury could not be found once details of the "alleged" confessions contained within one of the warrants were made public.
A descision from the Judge regarding the release of all of these warrants has been pending for 2 months with the whole issue further complicated by the fact that attorneys for the hartford courant-a local paper in the cheshire area, have petitioned for the records to be unsealed and made available to the press, as they claim that the states handling of this case is most pertinent to the people of connecticut.
The judge made a compromise in effect by decreeing that redacted versions of the warrants would be released, which translates into abbreviated facts or summations of findings, rather than specific word for word record. This is supposed to keep the jury pool uncontaminated by sparing the public the gory details found within the confessions as well as the many evidenciary solicitations and findings.
Reportedly among the most damning evidence is the cell phone records of the two defendents; Apparently the murdering child killers were text messaging each other with details of what they were up to while in seperate areas of the Petits home, after having beaten and bound the slumbering Dr Petit, and presumbably while sexually assaulting Mrs petit and her little daughter!
This is utterly heart breaking and the only solace thatI have in my heart at this moment is that it is clearer to me as a law abiding citizen of Connecticut that we Must use this horrific crime as the proverbial last straw in our bent and broken justice system and begin in earnest the process of drastic criminal justice reform. This is the only true way of honoring these women so that they did not die these terrible deaths in vain. We Now have a sacred duty to the Petits and ourselves; Its time for action Connecticut..
Judge: Unseal Cheshire Affidavits -- Courant.com
Just wanted to get this latest development in The Petit case out as it should affect what we all are able to read about this crime in the near future. There has been a lid on many of the details regarding the confessions that both murderers made to police shortly after thier arrests;
This due to both the defense and the states appeal to seal the warrant records from the press, each for thier own differnet reasons; The defense sighted the concern that the claim could be made down the line that a fair and impartial jury could not be found once details of the "alleged" confessions contained within one of the warrants were made public.
A descision from the Judge regarding the release of all of these warrants has been pending for 2 months with the whole issue further complicated by the fact that attorneys for the hartford courant-a local paper in the cheshire area, have petitioned for the records to be unsealed and made available to the press, as they claim that the states handling of this case is most pertinent to the people of connecticut.
The judge made a compromise in effect by decreeing that redacted versions of the warrants would be released, which translates into abbreviated facts or summations of findings, rather than specific word for word record. This is supposed to keep the jury pool uncontaminated by sparing the public the gory details found within the confessions as well as the many evidenciary solicitations and findings.
Reportedly among the most damning evidence is the cell phone records of the two defendents; Apparently the murdering child killers were text messaging each other with details of what they were up to while in seperate areas of the Petits home, after having beaten and bound the slumbering Dr Petit, and presumbably while sexually assaulting Mrs petit and her little daughter!
This is utterly heart breaking and the only solace thatI have in my heart at this moment is that it is clearer to me as a law abiding citizen of Connecticut that we Must use this horrific crime as the proverbial last straw in our bent and broken justice system and begin in earnest the process of drastic criminal justice reform. This is the only true way of honoring these women so that they did not die these terrible deaths in vain. We Now have a sacred duty to the Petits and ourselves; Its time for action Connecticut..
Judge: Unseal Cheshire Affidavits -- Courant.com
Oct 15, 2007
Justice system Was Given heads up regarding Petit family killer Komisarjevsky
Just when you think it couldn't get much worse, it does. http://www.repam.com/newsdocuments/Komisarjevsky_Sentencing.pdf
I came across this court transcript easily on the net, via a Google search on the names of the two career criminals that took the lives of the Petit family women in July.
It is a word for word record of the final court sentencing proceedings for what appears to be a huge string of robberies that spanned three different towns!
The information is disturbing because what we see is proof that the court knew this man posed a serious threat to innocent home dwellers in our Connecticut suburbs.
As the prosecutor so aptly pointed out, in every instance of his robbery, the family or homeowner were home at the time of the break in. Thus, making those crimes home invasions, as the potential for a violent confrontation ending in a loss of life, great-a chance that Mr Komisarjevski gladly took, often with his own neigbors, over and over and over again.
This is obviously much more serious than some smash and grab drug desperate addict who goes to all lengths to avoid running into people within his robbery crime-which happens to be the mode of operandi for stephen hayes, the second murderer in the Petit carnage.
On the other hand Komisarjevski made a point to only rob homes late at night, which indicates a truly arrogant and dangerous criminal. This is thrill seeking behavior with stalking at the very core of the crime-- indeed, the stealing of things seems almost incidental to this guy, he also stole personal items of some of the women that lived in the homes that he robbed. All of this exemplies a typical sociopathic persona, ie chronic disregard for the rights of others,as well the beggining stages of a sex criminal -You'll remember that this guy stole a personal framed photo of a young couple from the last home that he'd robbed the very night before the Petit home invasion.
What I gleaned from this court sentencing transcript was that the prosecutor in charge of Komisarjevskys bindle of break-ins was a responsible man, who clearly took his job seriously.
He was thorough, he was clear, and most of all, prepared to communicate to the court (ie judge) why he felt that this man should be given a serious sentence for the harm he had done in unquantifiable terms ie trauma emotional of the family's that were predated upon by him.
Certainly Compared to the prosecutors in my case (whereupon I became victim of violent crime in Connecticut) this states attorney was clearly devoted to upholding the law and speaking on behalf of the victims and making suggestions to the court based upon their best interests as well the interests of the rest of the public at large.
Take into consideration that The crimes being addressed here were a a bunch of house robberies where the loot taken amounted to a relatively smallish sum. My case was an out and out group of full blown violent crimes including assault in the 2nd degree ans well as criminal restraint in the 2nd degree, among others. The man that committed those crimes against me was also of the sociopathic variety-textbook in fact, And yet the prosecutors at Ga2l court in Bridgeport Connecticut were so indifferent, lazy, unprofessional and completely lacking the most rudimentary knowledge re criminal pyscology, they plead out this criminal that nearly cost me life with a deal that dropped very serious charges down to nothing charges, no prison time, no restitution,and on top of this travesty, allowed him to plead no contest to the lowered charges so that he never had to say the word 'guilty' This one thing that mattered very much to me, was taken from me by these inept, callous prosecutors who I daresay did more damage to me with their handling of my case, as well the utter invalidation of my soul after surviving a terrible set of violent crimes.
My point with this diatribe is this; I can amass a great deal of information from this court transcript re joshua komisarjevsky. And the most important fact that leaps out is that this was a responsible court meaning prosecutor and judge, both of whom spent a good deal of time and energy making sure that this vermin was handled in a fashion that proved that he was considered a danger to the general public at large
Having been through my own court experience as a victim of crime in this state I assumed that all Connecticut courts worked the same-the judge is just a centerpiece with little or no involvement in the disposition of a sentence, as almost every single case has already been discussed and an outcome or usually a 'deal' agreed upon OUTSIDE OF THE COURTROOM.
And it is brought in front of the judge for his her obligatory nod, this once all continuances have pretty much been exhausted by the accused attorney-This dually serves to bolster the attorneys bill up very nicely thank you and to clear the prosecutors daily schedule (as well the court) often adding up to a years time which is close to the average length of time it takes to dispose of a case from arraignment to sentencing at golden hill street court.
Lackadaisical cavalier attitudes like this are commonplace in some Connecticut courts, right along with apathy, laziness and a seeming commitment to doing the absolute minimum requirements of judicial civil service jobs.
But in fairness after some diligent investigation I have found that The various Connecticut courts are all run differently, each one with its own internal and external political workings and agendas- All of which greatly affect the daily machinations and moreover, the tone of the court itself (IE tough on crime vs lax, overly rehabilative oriented vs punitive-
Or.... as it is in my bridgeport ga2, court completely run by the local states attorneys office within the court, whose tone seems to be "We do not want to hear from the victim ,we dont want to do any extra work and dont even think about us taking a case to trial -as little as 2 percent of all violent crime cases that come thru our doors are ever tried-the rest are nolled dismissed or plead out And that plea deal is usually contingent on the kind of relationship the defendents lawyer has with said states attorney in charge of that case.
In any case, nothing resembling justice takes place under that roof, and Id like to know how this all came to be at GA2. When did the power leave the hands of the judges and foolishly transfer to the prosecutors offices? I know for a fact that it wasnt always that way at ga2.
In fact that very court was used as a model for doemstic violence docket 10 yrs ago, mainly due to a hard ass judge or was known to throw the book at abusive men men that battered women or children-and the same for child molesters. All as it should be. Apprently as soon as this judges term was over, so was the tough on crime attitude that prevailed in his court-it was right back to usual so Im told by certain state employees, with the main prosecutor at the time setting the age old civil service employee stereoptupe you know the guy you see at the MVD except these peole are supposed to be victims voices and purveyors of justice. bah!
.Please Note that i never use the term 'criminal justice system" This is because my experience as well as many others in this area, have proven that it is soley the justice end of this loose partnership that is a problem the problem, whereas the law enforcement involvement with crime in our state is for the most part, good. Most dept' s are versed well re domestic violence and stalking crimes. They see just how serious crimes of this nature are;time and time again they see the carnage brought about as a result of a chronic batterer being treated so cavalierly by the courts and no real protection given to thier victimes.
As a victim of violent crime of the so called domestic variety ( I argue this categorization and will tell you why later)I found The FAIRFIELD police departement extremely responsible and responsive-(they also take violent crime very seriously here and they are frustrated after all of their hard work; being painstakingly thourough with a case, drawing up clear Comprehensive warrants, apprehending dangerous criminals at risk to their own lives, only to watch the local court set them free with not even a slap on the wrist oftentimes, multiple "first time" offender free passes, and criminal records that do not reflect the seriousness of the crimes that these people committed-not even close.
These men and women are in the trenches if you will- they see first hand the damage done by these criminals. they are there when the terror and the wounds of crime are fresh. They see the eyes of the victims. And They know that despite that the likelihood is strong that these men will be let right back out to harm another innocent human being, and it will be someones daughter, mother sister or friend.
I came across this court transcript easily on the net, via a Google search on the names of the two career criminals that took the lives of the Petit family women in July.
It is a word for word record of the final court sentencing proceedings for what appears to be a huge string of robberies that spanned three different towns!
The information is disturbing because what we see is proof that the court knew this man posed a serious threat to innocent home dwellers in our Connecticut suburbs.
As the prosecutor so aptly pointed out, in every instance of his robbery, the family or homeowner were home at the time of the break in. Thus, making those crimes home invasions, as the potential for a violent confrontation ending in a loss of life, great-a chance that Mr Komisarjevski gladly took, often with his own neigbors, over and over and over again.
This is obviously much more serious than some smash and grab drug desperate addict who goes to all lengths to avoid running into people within his robbery crime-which happens to be the mode of operandi for stephen hayes, the second murderer in the Petit carnage.
On the other hand Komisarjevski made a point to only rob homes late at night, which indicates a truly arrogant and dangerous criminal. This is thrill seeking behavior with stalking at the very core of the crime-- indeed, the stealing of things seems almost incidental to this guy, he also stole personal items of some of the women that lived in the homes that he robbed. All of this exemplies a typical sociopathic persona, ie chronic disregard for the rights of others,as well the beggining stages of a sex criminal -You'll remember that this guy stole a personal framed photo of a young couple from the last home that he'd robbed the very night before the Petit home invasion.
What I gleaned from this court sentencing transcript was that the prosecutor in charge of Komisarjevskys bindle of break-ins was a responsible man, who clearly took his job seriously.
He was thorough, he was clear, and most of all, prepared to communicate to the court (ie judge) why he felt that this man should be given a serious sentence for the harm he had done in unquantifiable terms ie trauma emotional of the family's that were predated upon by him.
Certainly Compared to the prosecutors in my case (whereupon I became victim of violent crime in Connecticut) this states attorney was clearly devoted to upholding the law and speaking on behalf of the victims and making suggestions to the court based upon their best interests as well the interests of the rest of the public at large.
Take into consideration that The crimes being addressed here were a a bunch of house robberies where the loot taken amounted to a relatively smallish sum. My case was an out and out group of full blown violent crimes including assault in the 2nd degree ans well as criminal restraint in the 2nd degree, among others. The man that committed those crimes against me was also of the sociopathic variety-textbook in fact, And yet the prosecutors at Ga2l court in Bridgeport Connecticut were so indifferent, lazy, unprofessional and completely lacking the most rudimentary knowledge re criminal pyscology, they plead out this criminal that nearly cost me life with a deal that dropped very serious charges down to nothing charges, no prison time, no restitution,and on top of this travesty, allowed him to plead no contest to the lowered charges so that he never had to say the word 'guilty' This one thing that mattered very much to me, was taken from me by these inept, callous prosecutors who I daresay did more damage to me with their handling of my case, as well the utter invalidation of my soul after surviving a terrible set of violent crimes.
My point with this diatribe is this; I can amass a great deal of information from this court transcript re joshua komisarjevsky. And the most important fact that leaps out is that this was a responsible court meaning prosecutor and judge, both of whom spent a good deal of time and energy making sure that this vermin was handled in a fashion that proved that he was considered a danger to the general public at large
Having been through my own court experience as a victim of crime in this state I assumed that all Connecticut courts worked the same-the judge is just a centerpiece with little or no involvement in the disposition of a sentence, as almost every single case has already been discussed and an outcome or usually a 'deal' agreed upon OUTSIDE OF THE COURTROOM.
And it is brought in front of the judge for his her obligatory nod, this once all continuances have pretty much been exhausted by the accused attorney-This dually serves to bolster the attorneys bill up very nicely thank you and to clear the prosecutors daily schedule (as well the court) often adding up to a years time which is close to the average length of time it takes to dispose of a case from arraignment to sentencing at golden hill street court.
Lackadaisical cavalier attitudes like this are commonplace in some Connecticut courts, right along with apathy, laziness and a seeming commitment to doing the absolute minimum requirements of judicial civil service jobs.
But in fairness after some diligent investigation I have found that The various Connecticut courts are all run differently, each one with its own internal and external political workings and agendas- All of which greatly affect the daily machinations and moreover, the tone of the court itself (IE tough on crime vs lax, overly rehabilative oriented vs punitive-
Or.... as it is in my bridgeport ga2, court completely run by the local states attorneys office within the court, whose tone seems to be "We do not want to hear from the victim ,we dont want to do any extra work and dont even think about us taking a case to trial -as little as 2 percent of all violent crime cases that come thru our doors are ever tried-the rest are nolled dismissed or plead out And that plea deal is usually contingent on the kind of relationship the defendents lawyer has with said states attorney in charge of that case.
In any case, nothing resembling justice takes place under that roof, and Id like to know how this all came to be at GA2. When did the power leave the hands of the judges and foolishly transfer to the prosecutors offices? I know for a fact that it wasnt always that way at ga2.
In fact that very court was used as a model for doemstic violence docket 10 yrs ago, mainly due to a hard ass judge or was known to throw the book at abusive men men that battered women or children-and the same for child molesters. All as it should be. Apprently as soon as this judges term was over, so was the tough on crime attitude that prevailed in his court-it was right back to usual so Im told by certain state employees, with the main prosecutor at the time setting the age old civil service employee stereoptupe you know the guy you see at the MVD except these peole are supposed to be victims voices and purveyors of justice. bah!
.Please Note that i never use the term 'criminal justice system" This is because my experience as well as many others in this area, have proven that it is soley the justice end of this loose partnership that is a problem the problem, whereas the law enforcement involvement with crime in our state is for the most part, good. Most dept' s are versed well re domestic violence and stalking crimes. They see just how serious crimes of this nature are;time and time again they see the carnage brought about as a result of a chronic batterer being treated so cavalierly by the courts and no real protection given to thier victimes.
As a victim of violent crime of the so called domestic variety ( I argue this categorization and will tell you why later)I found The FAIRFIELD police departement extremely responsible and responsive-(they also take violent crime very seriously here and they are frustrated after all of their hard work; being painstakingly thourough with a case, drawing up clear Comprehensive warrants, apprehending dangerous criminals at risk to their own lives, only to watch the local court set them free with not even a slap on the wrist oftentimes, multiple "first time" offender free passes, and criminal records that do not reflect the seriousness of the crimes that these people committed-not even close.
These men and women are in the trenches if you will- they see first hand the damage done by these criminals. they are there when the terror and the wounds of crime are fresh. They see the eyes of the victims. And They know that despite that the likelihood is strong that these men will be let right back out to harm another innocent human being, and it will be someones daughter, mother sister or friend.
Oct 10, 2007
October is domestic violence awareness month
Take Action this month to help end domestic violence...
Make a difference for women and their children seeking refuge from abusive situations
Donate a used car, cell phone or even real estate to The National Coalition to end Domestic Violence http://www.800charitycars.org/set-cookie.php
Make a difference for women and their children seeking refuge from abusive situations
Donate a used car, cell phone or even real estate to The National Coalition to end Domestic Violence http://www.800charitycars.org/set-cookie.php
Sep 17, 2007
More Disturbing news regarding the Petit crimes...
The latest disturbing news regarding the Petit crimes in Cheshire is that the toxicology reports on the suspects both came back negative-which translates into;
-These two predators were 100 percent sober and lucid-sans drugs of any kind, while committing these crimes.-
Not that being high on drugs would in any way excuse their despicable crimes, but it might have helped explain why these men were able to brutalize innocent human beings in the way that they did had they been high on some hallucinigen.
Although it is bad news, insofar as what it does to our hearts and souls knowing these men were totally sober throughout these awful violent crimes, the negative drug/alcohol test results will likely seal a death sentence for these two reprobates, and this is as it should be.
-These two predators were 100 percent sober and lucid-sans drugs of any kind, while committing these crimes.-
Not that being high on drugs would in any way excuse their despicable crimes, but it might have helped explain why these men were able to brutalize innocent human beings in the way that they did had they been high on some hallucinigen.
Although it is bad news, insofar as what it does to our hearts and souls knowing these men were totally sober throughout these awful violent crimes, the negative drug/alcohol test results will likely seal a death sentence for these two reprobates, and this is as it should be.
Sep 6, 2007
More Violence against Women, This time close to home..
Please excuse the humongous lapse in entries folks, Ive been on a life-circumstance-imposed-hiatus from writing. I won't delve into the specifics right now, but suffice to say that I had to take some time out of the daily din to express my feelings over the recent tragedy of the Petit family murders, right here in Cheshire, Connecticut.
I have been deeply, deeply troubled by these crimes and carrying a huge weight in my heart ever since learning of the details of the murders of Mrs Petit and her two young daughters, as well, the near-fatal assault on Dr. William Petit, the sole survivor of the carnage who is now left with only memories of his entire family and undoubtedly haunting thoughts about their last hours.
I was raised in Southern Connecticut in Fairfield county, less than an hours ride from New York city and Ive just recently returned the area. But several years back, I found myself relocating to the Hartford area, 20 miles or so from Cheshire, the small town where this tragedy occurred.
But in truth it wasn't a "tragedy" at all, although clearly tragic, as a tragedy implies a fateful event and it didnt "occur", for that matter either: Two paroled career criminals planned and executed with aforethought and malice, a series of crimes that began with the sighting and stalking of attractive Mrs Petit 48, and her budding 11 yr old daughter Michaela as they shopped for groceries at a local Stop and Shop supermarket.
Can you imagine this - I do. In fact I cannot seem to stop thinking about them. and anguishing over the sequence of events that brought them happenstance into the path of evil.
They were shopping for that evenings family dinner, Michaela had been planning the evening meal that very day. She had become a self-appointed family chef, with a growing
talent for cooking.
Sadly, this would be the last meal that Michaela Petit would ever prepare and the last one her family would enjoy together. Mother and daughter were being watched and appraised in the Stop and Shop parking lot. They were watched as they loaded their family SUV with groceries and then watched and followed as they drove back to their raised ranch home a mile and a half away.
Fifteen hours later, Michaela and her mom would be dead as would 17 year old Hayley Petit, their home would be half burnt and charred, and the contents that remained destroyed
by smoke and fire damage The lone survivor of the nightmarish ordeal, William Petit Jr was very near death himself from severe head injury and blood loss, the result of multiple blows to his head with a baseball bat.
To me there was clearly resentment and hatred at the core of these crimes and this was multifold. First, there is an obvious anger and resentment towards women, as is evidenced from the sexual assaults, which I firmly believe were the motives for these crimes.The money stolen was secondary.
The age of the perpetrator's rape victims tells me a lot: The younger of the two, at 27 himself chooses a veritable child as the object of his coveting. Remember, this whole crime began with the spotting of Jennifer and young Michaela at a supermarket. Although only 11 years old from various photos I have seen, Michaela seems to have just gone through a growth spurt that summer, one that left her fairly tall for her age and could easily mistake her for a slightly older 13- 14-year old tween.
Enter emotionally stunted predator Joshua komisarjevsky: Michaela's appearance made her fair game for this sexual-predator in the making, yet emotionally she was still child enough to pose no threat to his ego, as an adult woman or even an older teenager surely would. ie Hayley Petit who reportedly was not raped was not his primary sexual goal.
We have all heard enough times that rape is not about sex, but about power and control. This is painfully true in this case as an other: These two career felons with histories of stints in and out of prison comprising most of thier adult lives were not likely to get much attention nor respect from women in general, much less voluntary sex. This equated to the perception that women in general have a power over them, particularly women that they viewed as privileged or affluent, ie rendering these two men completely out of 'their league"
.
I am certain that there was a deep abiding sentiment of "the have's and the have nots" here, with these two hopelessly relegated to the latter in their own minds. These were the seeds of bitterness and hate that contributed largely to these crimes.
Bear in mind too that predator Joshua Komisarjevsky was in fact raised within the mixed working class/upper middle class town of Cheshire Connecticut where the Petits home was
and the crimes took place; The only adopted son of an Electrician, who was himself the son of a famous and respected Russian Ballet Dancer turned beloved ballet instructor, with familial roots to Russian Royalty of some sort. Komisarjevsky was living with his parents at the time of the murders, thus giving the Conn Parole board what it wanted insofar as the appearence of a secure and safe environment for the former career thief. He resided in a house a mere two miles from the Petit home where the crimes occurred.
Details are not readily available to explain how or why his family had apparently fallen upon some difficult times in recent years, their once well-kept farmhouse home now in comparative shambles, the grounds neglected and unkempt. To me, thiis becomes even more indicative that Komisarjevsky felt as if on the "outside Llooking in" Living in a mostly upper middle classs town with a striking difference in lifestyle from those who surrounded him in the more affluent homes in Cheshire . Homes that he that he frequently chose to break into from the age of 14 up to the present.
Please pardon me for this detour into the lives and minds of the cruel and cowardly men that committed these crimes. I too rage at them. I too want justice and swiftly,but I also need to have a basic understanding of how this predator is created, and then enabled by his family and the system and even more importantly how they operate. +0+
There is a classic Mode of operandi for the sociopath. The more I read about crime of this sort, the more textbook these guys become, and the more likely I am to recognize them as I traverse my own life.
In fact many people would be amazed and horrified to know just how many people with "Anti-social personality disorder" exist around us and among us. All too often the so-called boogey-man is not grotesque, nor stupid ,nor inarticulate. In fact, the most dangerous sociopaths are highly intelligent, highly articulate and highly manipulative- which explains how they are able to blend in so well and behave as "normal people" do.
In the meantime, they inwardly mock what they know is expected of them, including the possession of a conscience, something they recognize as an expecttation of them.
As such they will often laboriously carefully craft the appearance of such qualities, especially when it is neccesary in getting out of a jam, which often their criminal behavior has led them into.
For example, the crocodile tears that Komisarjevsky used at one of his last sentencing hearings, whilst trying to illicit sympathy from the judge and prosecutor, he stated the desire to address the many many victims of his latest string of robberies which spanned several towns and districts, but none of whom were present in court that morning. "I only wish my victims were here today so I could show them how sorry I am" he gushed.
It hasn't helped matters that this guy has a boyish -looking face and a soft spoken voice, likely something he's mastered as part of an innocent seeming personae, one that he dons as it is necessary - with his parents, the church, school administration and later, law enforcement as he became frequently embroiled in one problem after another with all agencies that represented authority.
While all of this knowledge regarding the criminal mind doesn't ease the pain over the lives lost to these monsters, it does help me somehow in De-mystfying them, thus reducing them to something akin to laboratory rats rather than my former attributing some mysterious evil force which only served to empower them.
When this kind of brutality happens, I do my best to crawl into the perpetrators lives/minds and to follow the trail that is always left, showing the roots of cold and inhuman proclivities. These traits are often not diagnosed, misdiagnosed under-diagnosed within many social agencies connected to our court system, as stemming from issues of low self esteem and/or abuse that the evolving predator might have experienced as children.
This kind of thinking only helps enable and excuse crimes such as the ones that led up to the Petit family assaults and murders. And it does not take into consideration the entity known as the sociopath, as this brand of personality disorder simply evades all rules of thumb when it comes to what most people can grasp as decent human beings. There is no way to "make sense of them or their actions.
And therin lies the struggle and the pain that so many of us have when things like this happen.
We cannot make sense of it, it does not compute we cannot make it fit. And unfortunately, some people who cannot or refuse to conceive of the notion of a simply evil person, invest a lot of time and energy into trying to explain, and help excuse an individual for committing acts such as this. Sadly it is a wild goose chase, and within the criminal justice system, a very dangerous one, that will end in more crime and as is usually the way, of an escalating nature.
The irony is that The Petit family could not have been a better example of kindness, generosity (of self and spirit,) and social and spiritual conscientiousness, all wiped out in an effort to obliterate evidence of the rapes that had been the precursor and motivation for the entire evenings carnage. I honestly believe that the 'robbery' was incidental as well as the 15,000 withdrawal that Jennifer Petit made under duress from her bank that fateful morning.
I can only surmise that Mrs Petit may have desperately tried to buy more time in an attempt to buy off the criminals in hopes of saving her family's life-a family that was being held hostage for the last 6 hours and sexually assaulted repeatedly.
I am sickened at all of this and yet it happened and right around the corner. therefore I must not turn away as I was tempted when first told of the crimes. I owe this to the victims not to bury my head in the sand and say to myself I cannot think about all of this, its just too awful'
We must consider it, we absolutely must remember it and we most of all we must try our best to insure that it doesnt happen again in our State.
I really don't look for this stuff , it just seems that time and time again these awful multiple type murders have a common misogynistic theme at their core: a loathing and resentment towards females and in this case also envy, hatred and resentment for what appears to be affluence and privilege-In reality Dr Petit came from working class roots and was by all accounts, a self made and modest man, who gave generously of his time and energy to assist less fortunate people through his practice, his church, the community and charitable works
.
As a people let us please use these senseless crimes as a starting point for drastic changes in how our Connecticut Courts deal with crime and justice. As a state, Connecticut has an abysmal reputation, well earned merely processing our crimes and thus our criminals.
I personally can attest first hand that criminals who have committed violent crimes are no exception to this processing mill called criminal court where plea deals are automatic and dropped charges, lowered charges, nolles and dismissals of serious criminal charges happen every single day in our area courthouses, with nary a hitch.
Note: The latest disturbing news is that the toxicology reports on the suspects both came back negative! This translates into the knowledge that these two predators were 100 percent sober and lucid when they committed these crimes.
I have been deeply, deeply troubled by these crimes and carrying a huge weight in my heart ever since learning of the details of the murders of Mrs Petit and her two young daughters, as well, the near-fatal assault on Dr. William Petit, the sole survivor of the carnage who is now left with only memories of his entire family and undoubtedly haunting thoughts about their last hours.
I was raised in Southern Connecticut in Fairfield county, less than an hours ride from New York city and Ive just recently returned the area. But several years back, I found myself relocating to the Hartford area, 20 miles or so from Cheshire, the small town where this tragedy occurred.
But in truth it wasn't a "tragedy" at all, although clearly tragic, as a tragedy implies a fateful event and it didnt "occur", for that matter either: Two paroled career criminals planned and executed with aforethought and malice, a series of crimes that began with the sighting and stalking of attractive Mrs Petit 48, and her budding 11 yr old daughter Michaela as they shopped for groceries at a local Stop and Shop supermarket.
Can you imagine this - I do. In fact I cannot seem to stop thinking about them. and anguishing over the sequence of events that brought them happenstance into the path of evil.
They were shopping for that evenings family dinner, Michaela had been planning the evening meal that very day. She had become a self-appointed family chef, with a growing
talent for cooking.
Sadly, this would be the last meal that Michaela Petit would ever prepare and the last one her family would enjoy together. Mother and daughter were being watched and appraised in the Stop and Shop parking lot. They were watched as they loaded their family SUV with groceries and then watched and followed as they drove back to their raised ranch home a mile and a half away.
Fifteen hours later, Michaela and her mom would be dead as would 17 year old Hayley Petit, their home would be half burnt and charred, and the contents that remained destroyed
by smoke and fire damage The lone survivor of the nightmarish ordeal, William Petit Jr was very near death himself from severe head injury and blood loss, the result of multiple blows to his head with a baseball bat.
To me there was clearly resentment and hatred at the core of these crimes and this was multifold. First, there is an obvious anger and resentment towards women, as is evidenced from the sexual assaults, which I firmly believe were the motives for these crimes.The money stolen was secondary.
The age of the perpetrator's rape victims tells me a lot: The younger of the two, at 27 himself chooses a veritable child as the object of his coveting. Remember, this whole crime began with the spotting of Jennifer and young Michaela at a supermarket. Although only 11 years old from various photos I have seen, Michaela seems to have just gone through a growth spurt that summer, one that left her fairly tall for her age and could easily mistake her for a slightly older 13- 14-year old tween.
Enter emotionally stunted predator Joshua komisarjevsky: Michaela's appearance made her fair game for this sexual-predator in the making, yet emotionally she was still child enough to pose no threat to his ego, as an adult woman or even an older teenager surely would. ie Hayley Petit who reportedly was not raped was not his primary sexual goal.
We have all heard enough times that rape is not about sex, but about power and control. This is painfully true in this case as an other: These two career felons with histories of stints in and out of prison comprising most of thier adult lives were not likely to get much attention nor respect from women in general, much less voluntary sex. This equated to the perception that women in general have a power over them, particularly women that they viewed as privileged or affluent, ie rendering these two men completely out of 'their league"
.
I am certain that there was a deep abiding sentiment of "the have's and the have nots" here, with these two hopelessly relegated to the latter in their own minds. These were the seeds of bitterness and hate that contributed largely to these crimes.
Bear in mind too that predator Joshua Komisarjevsky was in fact raised within the mixed working class/upper middle class town of Cheshire Connecticut where the Petits home was
and the crimes took place; The only adopted son of an Electrician, who was himself the son of a famous and respected Russian Ballet Dancer turned beloved ballet instructor, with familial roots to Russian Royalty of some sort. Komisarjevsky was living with his parents at the time of the murders, thus giving the Conn Parole board what it wanted insofar as the appearence of a secure and safe environment for the former career thief. He resided in a house a mere two miles from the Petit home where the crimes occurred.
Details are not readily available to explain how or why his family had apparently fallen upon some difficult times in recent years, their once well-kept farmhouse home now in comparative shambles, the grounds neglected and unkempt. To me, thiis becomes even more indicative that Komisarjevsky felt as if on the "outside Llooking in" Living in a mostly upper middle classs town with a striking difference in lifestyle from those who surrounded him in the more affluent homes in Cheshire . Homes that he that he frequently chose to break into from the age of 14 up to the present.
Please pardon me for this detour into the lives and minds of the cruel and cowardly men that committed these crimes. I too rage at them. I too want justice and swiftly,but I also need to have a basic understanding of how this predator is created, and then enabled by his family and the system and even more importantly how they operate. +0+
There is a classic Mode of operandi for the sociopath. The more I read about crime of this sort, the more textbook these guys become, and the more likely I am to recognize them as I traverse my own life.
In fact many people would be amazed and horrified to know just how many people with "Anti-social personality disorder" exist around us and among us. All too often the so-called boogey-man is not grotesque, nor stupid ,nor inarticulate. In fact, the most dangerous sociopaths are highly intelligent, highly articulate and highly manipulative- which explains how they are able to blend in so well and behave as "normal people" do.
In the meantime, they inwardly mock what they know is expected of them, including the possession of a conscience, something they recognize as an expecttation of them.
As such they will often laboriously carefully craft the appearance of such qualities, especially when it is neccesary in getting out of a jam, which often their criminal behavior has led them into.
For example, the crocodile tears that Komisarjevsky used at one of his last sentencing hearings, whilst trying to illicit sympathy from the judge and prosecutor, he stated the desire to address the many many victims of his latest string of robberies which spanned several towns and districts, but none of whom were present in court that morning. "I only wish my victims were here today so I could show them how sorry I am" he gushed.
It hasn't helped matters that this guy has a boyish -looking face and a soft spoken voice, likely something he's mastered as part of an innocent seeming personae, one that he dons as it is necessary - with his parents, the church, school administration and later, law enforcement as he became frequently embroiled in one problem after another with all agencies that represented authority.
While all of this knowledge regarding the criminal mind doesn't ease the pain over the lives lost to these monsters, it does help me somehow in De-mystfying them, thus reducing them to something akin to laboratory rats rather than my former attributing some mysterious evil force which only served to empower them.
When this kind of brutality happens, I do my best to crawl into the perpetrators lives/minds and to follow the trail that is always left, showing the roots of cold and inhuman proclivities. These traits are often not diagnosed, misdiagnosed under-diagnosed within many social agencies connected to our court system, as stemming from issues of low self esteem and/or abuse that the evolving predator might have experienced as children.
This kind of thinking only helps enable and excuse crimes such as the ones that led up to the Petit family assaults and murders. And it does not take into consideration the entity known as the sociopath, as this brand of personality disorder simply evades all rules of thumb when it comes to what most people can grasp as decent human beings. There is no way to "make sense of them or their actions.
And therin lies the struggle and the pain that so many of us have when things like this happen.
We cannot make sense of it, it does not compute we cannot make it fit. And unfortunately, some people who cannot or refuse to conceive of the notion of a simply evil person, invest a lot of time and energy into trying to explain, and help excuse an individual for committing acts such as this. Sadly it is a wild goose chase, and within the criminal justice system, a very dangerous one, that will end in more crime and as is usually the way, of an escalating nature.
The irony is that The Petit family could not have been a better example of kindness, generosity (of self and spirit,) and social and spiritual conscientiousness, all wiped out in an effort to obliterate evidence of the rapes that had been the precursor and motivation for the entire evenings carnage. I honestly believe that the 'robbery' was incidental as well as the 15,000 withdrawal that Jennifer Petit made under duress from her bank that fateful morning.
I can only surmise that Mrs Petit may have desperately tried to buy more time in an attempt to buy off the criminals in hopes of saving her family's life-a family that was being held hostage for the last 6 hours and sexually assaulted repeatedly.
I am sickened at all of this and yet it happened and right around the corner. therefore I must not turn away as I was tempted when first told of the crimes. I owe this to the victims not to bury my head in the sand and say to myself I cannot think about all of this, its just too awful'
We must consider it, we absolutely must remember it and we most of all we must try our best to insure that it doesnt happen again in our State.
I really don't look for this stuff , it just seems that time and time again these awful multiple type murders have a common misogynistic theme at their core: a loathing and resentment towards females and in this case also envy, hatred and resentment for what appears to be affluence and privilege-In reality Dr Petit came from working class roots and was by all accounts, a self made and modest man, who gave generously of his time and energy to assist less fortunate people through his practice, his church, the community and charitable works
.
As a people let us please use these senseless crimes as a starting point for drastic changes in how our Connecticut Courts deal with crime and justice. As a state, Connecticut has an abysmal reputation, well earned merely processing our crimes and thus our criminals.
I personally can attest first hand that criminals who have committed violent crimes are no exception to this processing mill called criminal court where plea deals are automatic and dropped charges, lowered charges, nolles and dismissals of serious criminal charges happen every single day in our area courthouses, with nary a hitch.
Note: The latest disturbing news is that the toxicology reports on the suspects both came back negative! This translates into the knowledge that these two predators were 100 percent sober and lucid when they committed these crimes.
May 9, 2007
Brain injury And Domestic Violence
As a survivor of traumatic brain injury inflicted upon me during a "domestic violence" assault (a misnomer if there ever was one, but ill tackle that later) I found the following information, culled from the brain injury blog compelling.... http://braininjury.blogs.com/braininjury/brain_injury_lawyers_and_law/index.html
ie did you know that Domestic Violence is a leading cause of brain damage to women.
Greater than 90% of all injuries secondary to domestic violence occur to the head, neck or face region
30% of battered women reported a Loss of Consciousness at least once
81% reported cognitive, emotional and physical complaints identical to individuals who have experienced a brain injury.
The Alabama Department of Rehabilitation Services has developed an excellent teaching tool to enhance the awareness of domestic violence service providers on brain injury and its prevalence in these victims. The program was inspired by the understanding that the "lack of knowledge about brain injury and its functional after-effects may result in less than successful outcomes for these individuals"
The brain injury resources are presented in four modules:
the mechanisms of TBI and it's effects on individuals
the association of brain injury with domestic violence events
how to identify those sustaining a TBI due to domestic violence, with techniques that staff can use for accommodating TBI changes in their clients
available Statewide TBI services and resources
The manual containing these brain injury resources including a PowerPoint presentation can be accessed by clicking here.
Several years ago I was asked to give a presentation on this topic to the National Crime Victims Bar Association in Washington D.C. where I served on its advisory board. I advocated then and still do that victims of domestic violence bring a law suit for the brain damage they sustained against their violent spouse in addition to suing for divorce. The domestic relations lawyer would be well served to affiliate with a brain injury lawyer for this portion of the case.*
I would have been thrilled if the inept prosecutors in my criminal case had appeared to have or cared to have-- one whit of knowledge regarding TBI and it's immediate and long term consequences -Instead I had to practically stand on my injured head trying to convince them of the brutality of the crime committed against me and the daily physical seleleque following having my head repeatedly slammed first into a plaster wall and then the floor, alternating with pummelling on my temples and choked- for what felt like hours but was in reality about 25 minutes. Add to this, being held captive in my home all night fully believing that I was dying from severe brain injury, terrified to fall asleep, yet fighting a half counscious somnolent state from the severe swelling bruising of my repeatedly concussed brain. I
Over at Golden hill street court GA2 in Bridgeport Connecticut the prosecutors assigned to my case seemed equally as ignorant and apathetic regarding PTSD and its effects on victims of this kind of violence.
I can honestly say as a victim of domestic violence the dismissive attitude, lack of support and compassion- and ultimately justice, experienced within the walls of that court was all easily more destructive and damaging than the very brutal assault that brought me there.
And there is simply put No excuse for it.
ie did you know that Domestic Violence is a leading cause of brain damage to women.
Greater than 90% of all injuries secondary to domestic violence occur to the head, neck or face region
30% of battered women reported a Loss of Consciousness at least once
81% reported cognitive, emotional and physical complaints identical to individuals who have experienced a brain injury.
The Alabama Department of Rehabilitation Services has developed an excellent teaching tool to enhance the awareness of domestic violence service providers on brain injury and its prevalence in these victims. The program was inspired by the understanding that the "lack of knowledge about brain injury and its functional after-effects may result in less than successful outcomes for these individuals"
The brain injury resources are presented in four modules:
the mechanisms of TBI and it's effects on individuals
the association of brain injury with domestic violence events
how to identify those sustaining a TBI due to domestic violence, with techniques that staff can use for accommodating TBI changes in their clients
available Statewide TBI services and resources
The manual containing these brain injury resources including a PowerPoint presentation can be accessed by clicking here.
Several years ago I was asked to give a presentation on this topic to the National Crime Victims Bar Association in Washington D.C. where I served on its advisory board. I advocated then and still do that victims of domestic violence bring a law suit for the brain damage they sustained against their violent spouse in addition to suing for divorce. The domestic relations lawyer would be well served to affiliate with a brain injury lawyer for this portion of the case.*
I would have been thrilled if the inept prosecutors in my criminal case had appeared to have or cared to have-- one whit of knowledge regarding TBI and it's immediate and long term consequences -Instead I had to practically stand on my injured head trying to convince them of the brutality of the crime committed against me and the daily physical seleleque following having my head repeatedly slammed first into a plaster wall and then the floor, alternating with pummelling on my temples and choked- for what felt like hours but was in reality about 25 minutes. Add to this, being held captive in my home all night fully believing that I was dying from severe brain injury, terrified to fall asleep, yet fighting a half counscious somnolent state from the severe swelling bruising of my repeatedly concussed brain. I
Over at Golden hill street court GA2 in Bridgeport Connecticut the prosecutors assigned to my case seemed equally as ignorant and apathetic regarding PTSD and its effects on victims of this kind of violence.
I can honestly say as a victim of domestic violence the dismissive attitude, lack of support and compassion- and ultimately justice, experienced within the walls of that court was all easily more destructive and damaging than the very brutal assault that brought me there.
And there is simply put No excuse for it.
Apr 23, 2007
Virginia Tech and Violence against Women
Once again, a very insightful article from Mother Jones regarding our ineffectual and dismissive attitudes toward crimes like stalking and intimate violence that are so often the precursor of multiple murders, such as the recent Virginia tech massacre.
James Ridgeway, the washington correspondent for Mother jones, offers "Lax gun laws combined with precious little awareness of the role violence against women plays in psychopathic behavior have led to tragic results. Will they again?" A NECCESARY read http://ga3.org/ct/j7_ZlT91SzT8/
James Ridgeway, the washington correspondent for Mother jones, offers "Lax gun laws combined with precious little awareness of the role violence against women plays in psychopathic behavior have led to tragic results. Will they again?" A NECCESARY read http://ga3.org/ct/j7_ZlT91SzT8/
Nov 14, 2006
Wise Words from the United Nations
“Too many women are subjected to violence and made to feel shame,” said Thoraya Ahmed Obaid, Executive Director of the United Nations Population Fund. “The real shame belongs to a world that often blames women for the crimes committed against them, and allows such widespread violence to continue…It is time to end tolerance and complicity. We cannot make poverty history unless we make violence against women history. We cannot stop the spread of HIV unless we stop discrimination and violence against women and girls. We cannot build a world of peace, development and security until we end violence against women and girls.
Hallelujah.
I found the above at http://endabuse.org regarding a recent study completed by the United Nations) on the effects of international violence against women.
Lets hope that drastic change ensues regarding how the world views this epidemic, of clearly- global -proportions.
Hallelujah.
I found the above at http://endabuse.org regarding a recent study completed by the United Nations) on the effects of international violence against women.
Lets hope that drastic change ensues regarding how the world views this epidemic, of clearly- global -proportions.
Jul 12, 2006
On; feminism.
Someone asked me recently if the fact that I belonged to "the proggresive womens blog ring" meant that I was a feminist.So I thought about it and heres what I cam up with;
I consider myself to be a progressive woman,yet I cannot say, without some hesitation that I am a feminist,why? The moniker faminist has such a broad definition and often connotes a certain zealotry or extremism, and a fixeddogma at its core-the evil patriarchy.
I suppose then that it would be accurate to say that I subscribe to my own brand of feminism, which includes the well earned right to say no its not all about the patriarchy gals.
Its taken me many years and a good deal of struggle -mostly with my own demons--to attain a healthy self -esteem and ultimately, self- love. I've lived through some horrific times on the road to the safe & peaceful place that I now reside in. And Ive managed to not just survive these things- a feat in and of itself, (as many do not .)but to conquer them emotionally This grew out of the desire, indeed the need, to make something positive out of the pain of my past.- to make things better for the next person. Thus I became an unwitting activist for violence against women.
Now this isnt to say that my committment didnt waver, I often wanted to jump ship and "put it all behind me", as many victims of abuse feel they must in order to simply "go on". This temptation was made greater by well meaning Im sure family and friends, all woefully uninformed about PTSD and the healing process after any violent crime. Almost all discouraged me from talking about what Id had been through, as well frowning upon my involvement in trying to improve victims rights on a local and judical level- Once I did the important part, in thier minds, extricating myself from the abusive situation, it was over. Of course what every victim of violence like this knows; its never really over-we are forever changed. The question becomes what do we do with that?
In retrospect I know that like many people, they didnt know what to do with thier own feelings about what I had been thru, and by hushing me, they were in effect encouraging a denial-based coping mechanism for themselves.- While this doesnt seem awful on the surface, be aware that denial is a potentiating factor in the abusive relationship; denial on the part of the victim, denial of family and friends, denial of neighbors (along with reluctance to get involved)
Unwittingly, or simply through indifference, this denial become an accomplice to the abuser- they count on it. And this is why I write.
I consider myself to be a progressive woman,yet I cannot say, without some hesitation that I am a feminist,why? The moniker faminist has such a broad definition and often connotes a certain zealotry or extremism, and a fixeddogma at its core-the evil patriarchy.
I suppose then that it would be accurate to say that I subscribe to my own brand of feminism, which includes the well earned right to say no its not all about the patriarchy gals.
Its taken me many years and a good deal of struggle -mostly with my own demons--to attain a healthy self -esteem and ultimately, self- love. I've lived through some horrific times on the road to the safe & peaceful place that I now reside in. And Ive managed to not just survive these things- a feat in and of itself, (as many do not .)but to conquer them emotionally This grew out of the desire, indeed the need, to make something positive out of the pain of my past.- to make things better for the next person. Thus I became an unwitting activist for violence against women.
Now this isnt to say that my committment didnt waver, I often wanted to jump ship and "put it all behind me", as many victims of abuse feel they must in order to simply "go on". This temptation was made greater by well meaning Im sure family and friends, all woefully uninformed about PTSD and the healing process after any violent crime. Almost all discouraged me from talking about what Id had been through, as well frowning upon my involvement in trying to improve victims rights on a local and judical level- Once I did the important part, in thier minds, extricating myself from the abusive situation, it was over. Of course what every victim of violence like this knows; its never really over-we are forever changed. The question becomes what do we do with that?
In retrospect I know that like many people, they didnt know what to do with thier own feelings about what I had been thru, and by hushing me, they were in effect encouraging a denial-based coping mechanism for themselves.- While this doesnt seem awful on the surface, be aware that denial is a potentiating factor in the abusive relationship; denial on the part of the victim, denial of family and friends, denial of neighbors (along with reluctance to get involved)
Unwittingly, or simply through indifference, this denial become an accomplice to the abuser- they count on it. And this is why I write.
Nov 8, 2005
An amazing comment!
While I don't typically publish readers comments as Posts on my blog, I received a comment yesterday that I felt truly deserved the honor.
The asterisk's text below was taken from what began as a counter-comment from one male reader to another- in response to my Post entitled "A JUST WORLD?" written on Oct 30th.
What follows is in essence a manifesto, an elaboration of one mans definition of the sacred oath of true manhood, as it relates to women and the world around him. Amazing stuff.
Now the irony here is that after reading the original reader's(misandrop's) contemptuous counter-comment to me, in the Men's News daily on a post regarding the VAWA bill (a comment that he was so proud of that he actually provided a hyper-link to it within the body of his comment left on the "Just world?" post!) I decided to delete his comment from my blog- something I typically dont do, with the decision based solely upon the ugliness of his comment to me in mnd--- A comment that was far less solicitous than the one left on my blog and lacked even a shred of feigned humanity or decency. Perhaps he was showing off as it were, for his cohorts at that publication- much like a child would do-either way, he went too far and showed himself there for what he truly is. as Mr Romero pointed out,and I also took note of of, this guys MO has all the earmarks of a potential abuser- right down to the poorly veiled attempts at taking the high road at the close of his bitter post, perhaps intent on trying to regain the appearance of magnanimity. You can decide for yourselves..
In any event, had I deleted his comment one day sooner, It wouldn't have been there for Mr Romero to read and respond to with such passion and eloquence. Once again the hands of fate were conspiring... Nuff said-Enjoy!
note: This comment has been edited for practical purposes, THE ORIGINAL can be found in its entirety, within the comments section of my post entitled "A Just World?" datestamp Oct 31
**Misanthrope.... suck it up and be a man, in the classical sense that nature cast us, as providers and protectors.
The genealogy of the human race as a social and cultural animal has been brought forward largely due to the role of woman-as the custodians of our progeny. While the men folk were traversing land and sea be it for hunting food or resource enrichment or standing watch, guarding the gate to beat back the encroaching horde, the women were charged with seeing to the cohesiveness of the social order centering around the rearing of the children, the lifeblood and very breath we need to ensure the survival of the unique species that we are.
I am a man and therefore stake as my right, the ability to comment on judgments formed, from a lifetime so far of experiences and observations I have culled on what it means to be a man and a man's role in our society.
A real man behaves himself. REGARDLESS should a man have the conscious bearing toward rude, distasteful, negligent or even criminal action, behavior as such is not justifiable. There's no excuse to slough those murky grounds and liability should be especially exacted if a man treads there with knowledge of this beforehand.
A real man is not a burden on his society. REGARDLESS where our casted lot has sorted us, the real man stands shoulder to shoulder with his fellows stoking the coal-fed fires in the engine room heat, with comraderie as our water ration.
A real man does not foist his dysfunctions, if befell by them and at their mercy, onto those weak, or not, around him. A real man realizes that should he lose the moral lodestone a man must be to his family then high has come the time that either he toils to regain it, with the help of others if need be, or suffer the consequences and remove himself from their presence, monetary support notwithstanding- the cognizant act of fathering children precludes a man from avoiding his financial support.
The bottom line is that as men we have not only a responsibility but a choice as well. Once we've made the choice along these lines, the mantle of new responsibilities enjoins; responsibilities that have been struck into the genetic make-up of our social fabric as I have outlined above.
If you. Misanthrope truly werea real man and you got screwed by the system so much so to be cast into your misanthropic mire, then I would stand by you my fellow, and bouy you up with a forearm grasp and then champion your cause by your side should a request by you be offered. As we all have felt the irony of the cosmos when bad things happen to good people.
Which is not you, Misanthrope. You are not a good man, or a real man for that matter, and any affiliation, I could ever imagine we would have would be a vigilant watch over you as a safeguard to those you may someday try to hurt. Reading between your lines I see a bitter small man coming through, who, out of an indignant ego and petty pride has chosen to bail your bile laden bilge onto the purifying glow of Ms. Chasing Normal, this woman who first was brutalized at the hands of some worthless piece of human detritus.
Surviving that, she was then subjected to victimization once again through the court system as only imagined from the countless Domestic Violence cases bargained out. Cases in these courts bargained out to the extent that crime as well as punishment have been watered down to nearly nothing at all.....nothing at all compared to the mountainous magnitude of pain, physical disability, trauma, and lifetime suffering and, as in many cases, violent death to follow.
Cases bargained out by feckless prosecutors and equally amoral defense attorneys most times cronies from the same bar association, making deals over cocktail lunches and who-knows-what-other-favor-swappings going on, all heard before a judge from, once again, the same bar.
It's attitudes like yours that find themselves into every aspect of our society. An attitude that when, midway thru another trial of so many cases, with the victim mustering every strength to face her cowardly and immoral and many times sociopathic attacker, a gunshot heard from somewhere on the street outside the courthouse, prompts the words "Sorry honey, we gotta go and catch us a real criminal, besides you don't look that bad any more, time has healed your face fine. Case Dismissed."
The real horror lies in that gunshot heard. Too often do we hear about the gunshot coming from "the estranged acquaintance" exacting his revenge -
Who of us will have the courage to protect and defend our women?
I, as a man am appalled and deeply troubled by this bellwether of our society. Besides the full weight of every ounce of intellect and moral fiber I have thrown to stand in support of VAWA and those working to rid our culture of the seething apathy toward domestic violence, I stand ready at the gate, with an eye on you, and your kind and a cell phone in hand dialing 911 to protect the women, children, and any of my fellow citizenry who might fall prey to you predators infused throughout our society. And if necessary I can root around the floor of my hall closet for my old Louisville Slugger.
Your type raises all kind of alarms for me. You dare air your connivances masquerading as intelligent discourse from a pity pulpit, on a page where someone is trying to rouse herself from the waking nightmare into which she was plunged, with intentions solely to right the wrongs visited on so many innocents. Ms. CN is threatening no one except the likes of you cowards who feel personally attacked by those seeking justice from the legal system, and a willing acknowledgement from society. To those who genuinely engage in trying to make this world a better place, I welcome Ms. Chasing Normal's blog and applaud her tenacity.
The public seems in a unified cry to rid the streets of thieves and drug dealers and criminals especially of the violent type. But where lies the difference that lets charlie punch clock or eddie the executive who comes home from work, smiling and waving to the neighbors, to walk scott-free when behind closed doors he beats his wife-or merely threatens her with violence. This is terrorism of the domestic kind.
Is this the ilk to which you belong??? misanthrope???
Possibly the "ex-parte" you have become enlightened of, was visited on you, probably as your ex was seeking to protect herself potential or further harm.
She wants you out? Then get out. Do something decent and exhibit some dignity. It's called "not making a bad situation any worse". Compared to the beatings, it's a lump no real man would complain about taking.
This would explain why you and your buddies over at the Men's News Daily have raised such hue in mounting baseless attacks defending your stance against the VAWA bill. Where do you get the cojones to claim after reading the Just world article, that the principles involved; i.e. victims, were so misguided to not see that the real victims were the likes of you. If I may reiterate to you my opening comment to you... Grow a set of balls. I'd be embarrassed to say, let alone post for the whole wide web to read, comments as you did, should one day occur I fall ill with fever and suffer permanent delirium.
With hubris you claim being helped to understand....because inconvenient facts are conveniently left out, blah, blah, blahÂ…..inane prattleÂ…... You claim as fact billions allocated to women's shelters' but nothing to abused men and children, although they comprise 50% or more of the victims abused. Site your sources to backup these ridiculous claims. Many women fleeing an abusive house take flight to shelters with their children.
Do yourself a favor big man, crawl out of that sensory depravation tank you call your life and volunteer at one of the many shelters IÂ’m sure to be found within your locale. What you will see there in one evening alone will change you forever. But I am remiss in making this suggestion for they would never let a scumbag like you have the address to on of these shelters, let alone allow you near one. While the policy line would be to protect them from you, when the lights go out,Â… you know that old strength in numbers thing.
The VAWA bill covers all domestic violence, men and women; And I know that renaming the bill Violence Against People Act would not be enough to prevent a malcontent such as you from spewing your hate-veiled- as-cogent- comment.
With all that said......
......while the world is full of creeps like you, and never is the occurrence I would dignify the tripe you've written with a response, it was the profile of the abuser you really are that leapt off the page at me as my eyes read across the last two paragraphs and your closing comments. In typical abuser form, once the verbal abuse and vilification complete, the abuser reverts to the soft pedal approach, with veiled words of feigned assurances, to lure his victim in again, should a guard go up and he starts to lose her.
You are sorry for her suffering??? You pray for her???? Kind regards???? You sicken me with your meaningless platitudes. Did you think you saw another damaged women you thought you could run your game on? Or perhaps you were trying to salvage from the scrap heap a few shreds of dignity in attempts to restore a sense of credibility among any other passing viewers? IÂ’m sure many, including Ms. CN, can see right through to what is seriously wrong with you. What worries me is there are many people out there unable to recognize you as the evil-entity with no redeeming value that you are- they that number as possible potential victims.
Whoa, whoa, whoa……. (And at this point I ‘ve just returned from your cross-link to Men’s News Daily and in stunned anger read your reply to Ms. O’Keefe’s heart-as-well-as-gut wrenching experience to which you mocked in your reply. And the class act that she seems to be called it as she saw it –an utter lack of human decency- and refused comment any further.
Which is not the case with me and my kind; us, the reemerging real men in this world. My friends and many co-workers stand all together on as this as a topic we share liberally and often with all the men we meet. More than reinforcing respect for the women in our lives, we stress the importance of remaining silent no longer if we hear, see or even suspect there is violence toward the people in our lives.
A no account piece a crap like you spouting twisted hate in some bar within the presence of myself or the men I know, would find himself vigorously persuaded to reconsider the next words he chose to speak. ItÂ’s a free world to think what you want but when you come out of corner bringing your demented discourse into the public forum, youÂ’ve become fair game. And if intelligent prodding convinces to no avail, then cheerfully I would invite you to step into alley behind the bar, so we may see how you hold up to having your head smashed repeatedly against a solid wall. And my defense?, why I would present as Exhibit A your illuminating alliteration.
A wise man you are keeping shielded your identity. You wouldn’t want to let to your friends and employer the misogynist you really are. Then known to all you would be the pariah you should be. I’m sure talking stupid goes over big with your inane horse scrota buddies at the Men’s News Daily. However, this, as well as your attempts to parley intelligentsia while “away from home”, reveal the insipid shallow child you are to be. For the future, reserve your drivel for your blog only so that we in the sphere can avoid it at all cost and snuff out your vile vitriol with determined disinterest.
In closing, misanthrope, on your knees you should fall and beg forgiveness to all mankind for your callous, rude and insensitive rant, as well as such misguided conviction.
While my voice I raise in praise for this brave soldier Laurel Makepeace OÂ’Keefe. She is woman for all intents and purposes who has not merely survived but emerged only stronger, despite horrific abuse and lingering suffering, while dispelling damage along the way. With intelligence accompanying as her hand maiden she has taken up as standard bearer with her voice speaking out the survivor's tone. ****
Posted by Manny Romero to Chasing Normal .. at 11/07/2005 10:51:25 AM
The asterisk's text below was taken from what began as a counter-comment from one male reader to another- in response to my Post entitled "A JUST WORLD?" written on Oct 30th.
What follows is in essence a manifesto, an elaboration of one mans definition of the sacred oath of true manhood, as it relates to women and the world around him. Amazing stuff.
Now the irony here is that after reading the original reader's(misandrop's) contemptuous counter-comment to me, in the Men's News daily on a post regarding the VAWA bill (a comment that he was so proud of that he actually provided a hyper-link to it within the body of his comment left on the "Just world?" post!) I decided to delete his comment from my blog- something I typically dont do, with the decision based solely upon the ugliness of his comment to me in mnd--- A comment that was far less solicitous than the one left on my blog and lacked even a shred of feigned humanity or decency. Perhaps he was showing off as it were, for his cohorts at that publication- much like a child would do-either way, he went too far and showed himself there for what he truly is. as Mr Romero pointed out,and I also took note of of, this guys MO has all the earmarks of a potential abuser- right down to the poorly veiled attempts at taking the high road at the close of his bitter post, perhaps intent on trying to regain the appearance of magnanimity. You can decide for yourselves..
In any event, had I deleted his comment one day sooner, It wouldn't have been there for Mr Romero to read and respond to with such passion and eloquence. Once again the hands of fate were conspiring... Nuff said-Enjoy!
note: This comment has been edited for practical purposes, THE ORIGINAL can be found in its entirety, within the comments section of my post entitled "A Just World?" datestamp Oct 31
**Misanthrope.... suck it up and be a man, in the classical sense that nature cast us, as providers and protectors.
The genealogy of the human race as a social and cultural animal has been brought forward largely due to the role of woman-as the custodians of our progeny. While the men folk were traversing land and sea be it for hunting food or resource enrichment or standing watch, guarding the gate to beat back the encroaching horde, the women were charged with seeing to the cohesiveness of the social order centering around the rearing of the children, the lifeblood and very breath we need to ensure the survival of the unique species that we are.
I am a man and therefore stake as my right, the ability to comment on judgments formed, from a lifetime so far of experiences and observations I have culled on what it means to be a man and a man's role in our society.
A real man behaves himself. REGARDLESS should a man have the conscious bearing toward rude, distasteful, negligent or even criminal action, behavior as such is not justifiable. There's no excuse to slough those murky grounds and liability should be especially exacted if a man treads there with knowledge of this beforehand.
A real man is not a burden on his society. REGARDLESS where our casted lot has sorted us, the real man stands shoulder to shoulder with his fellows stoking the coal-fed fires in the engine room heat, with comraderie as our water ration.
A real man does not foist his dysfunctions, if befell by them and at their mercy, onto those weak, or not, around him. A real man realizes that should he lose the moral lodestone a man must be to his family then high has come the time that either he toils to regain it, with the help of others if need be, or suffer the consequences and remove himself from their presence, monetary support notwithstanding- the cognizant act of fathering children precludes a man from avoiding his financial support.
The bottom line is that as men we have not only a responsibility but a choice as well. Once we've made the choice along these lines, the mantle of new responsibilities enjoins; responsibilities that have been struck into the genetic make-up of our social fabric as I have outlined above.
If you. Misanthrope truly werea real man and you got screwed by the system so much so to be cast into your misanthropic mire, then I would stand by you my fellow, and bouy you up with a forearm grasp and then champion your cause by your side should a request by you be offered. As we all have felt the irony of the cosmos when bad things happen to good people.
Which is not you, Misanthrope. You are not a good man, or a real man for that matter, and any affiliation, I could ever imagine we would have would be a vigilant watch over you as a safeguard to those you may someday try to hurt. Reading between your lines I see a bitter small man coming through, who, out of an indignant ego and petty pride has chosen to bail your bile laden bilge onto the purifying glow of Ms. Chasing Normal, this woman who first was brutalized at the hands of some worthless piece of human detritus.
Surviving that, she was then subjected to victimization once again through the court system as only imagined from the countless Domestic Violence cases bargained out. Cases in these courts bargained out to the extent that crime as well as punishment have been watered down to nearly nothing at all.....nothing at all compared to the mountainous magnitude of pain, physical disability, trauma, and lifetime suffering and, as in many cases, violent death to follow.
Cases bargained out by feckless prosecutors and equally amoral defense attorneys most times cronies from the same bar association, making deals over cocktail lunches and who-knows-what-other-favor-swappings going on, all heard before a judge from, once again, the same bar.
It's attitudes like yours that find themselves into every aspect of our society. An attitude that when, midway thru another trial of so many cases, with the victim mustering every strength to face her cowardly and immoral and many times sociopathic attacker, a gunshot heard from somewhere on the street outside the courthouse, prompts the words "Sorry honey, we gotta go and catch us a real criminal, besides you don't look that bad any more, time has healed your face fine. Case Dismissed."
The real horror lies in that gunshot heard. Too often do we hear about the gunshot coming from "the estranged acquaintance" exacting his revenge -
Who of us will have the courage to protect and defend our women?
I, as a man am appalled and deeply troubled by this bellwether of our society. Besides the full weight of every ounce of intellect and moral fiber I have thrown to stand in support of VAWA and those working to rid our culture of the seething apathy toward domestic violence, I stand ready at the gate, with an eye on you, and your kind and a cell phone in hand dialing 911 to protect the women, children, and any of my fellow citizenry who might fall prey to you predators infused throughout our society. And if necessary I can root around the floor of my hall closet for my old Louisville Slugger.
Your type raises all kind of alarms for me. You dare air your connivances masquerading as intelligent discourse from a pity pulpit, on a page where someone is trying to rouse herself from the waking nightmare into which she was plunged, with intentions solely to right the wrongs visited on so many innocents. Ms. CN is threatening no one except the likes of you cowards who feel personally attacked by those seeking justice from the legal system, and a willing acknowledgement from society. To those who genuinely engage in trying to make this world a better place, I welcome Ms. Chasing Normal's blog and applaud her tenacity.
The public seems in a unified cry to rid the streets of thieves and drug dealers and criminals especially of the violent type. But where lies the difference that lets charlie punch clock or eddie the executive who comes home from work, smiling and waving to the neighbors, to walk scott-free when behind closed doors he beats his wife-or merely threatens her with violence. This is terrorism of the domestic kind.
Is this the ilk to which you belong??? misanthrope???
Possibly the "ex-parte" you have become enlightened of, was visited on you, probably as your ex was seeking to protect herself potential or further harm.
She wants you out? Then get out. Do something decent and exhibit some dignity. It's called "not making a bad situation any worse". Compared to the beatings, it's a lump no real man would complain about taking.
This would explain why you and your buddies over at the Men's News Daily have raised such hue in mounting baseless attacks defending your stance against the VAWA bill. Where do you get the cojones to claim after reading the Just world article, that the principles involved; i.e. victims, were so misguided to not see that the real victims were the likes of you. If I may reiterate to you my opening comment to you... Grow a set of balls. I'd be embarrassed to say, let alone post for the whole wide web to read, comments as you did, should one day occur I fall ill with fever and suffer permanent delirium.
With hubris you claim being helped to understand....because inconvenient facts are conveniently left out, blah, blah, blahÂ…..inane prattleÂ…... You claim as fact billions allocated to women's shelters' but nothing to abused men and children, although they comprise 50% or more of the victims abused. Site your sources to backup these ridiculous claims. Many women fleeing an abusive house take flight to shelters with their children.
Do yourself a favor big man, crawl out of that sensory depravation tank you call your life and volunteer at one of the many shelters IÂ’m sure to be found within your locale. What you will see there in one evening alone will change you forever. But I am remiss in making this suggestion for they would never let a scumbag like you have the address to on of these shelters, let alone allow you near one. While the policy line would be to protect them from you, when the lights go out,Â… you know that old strength in numbers thing.
The VAWA bill covers all domestic violence, men and women; And I know that renaming the bill Violence Against People Act would not be enough to prevent a malcontent such as you from spewing your hate-veiled- as-cogent- comment.
With all that said......
......while the world is full of creeps like you, and never is the occurrence I would dignify the tripe you've written with a response, it was the profile of the abuser you really are that leapt off the page at me as my eyes read across the last two paragraphs and your closing comments. In typical abuser form, once the verbal abuse and vilification complete, the abuser reverts to the soft pedal approach, with veiled words of feigned assurances, to lure his victim in again, should a guard go up and he starts to lose her.
You are sorry for her suffering??? You pray for her???? Kind regards???? You sicken me with your meaningless platitudes. Did you think you saw another damaged women you thought you could run your game on? Or perhaps you were trying to salvage from the scrap heap a few shreds of dignity in attempts to restore a sense of credibility among any other passing viewers? IÂ’m sure many, including Ms. CN, can see right through to what is seriously wrong with you. What worries me is there are many people out there unable to recognize you as the evil-entity with no redeeming value that you are- they that number as possible potential victims.
Whoa, whoa, whoa……. (And at this point I ‘ve just returned from your cross-link to Men’s News Daily and in stunned anger read your reply to Ms. O’Keefe’s heart-as-well-as-gut wrenching experience to which you mocked in your reply. And the class act that she seems to be called it as she saw it –an utter lack of human decency- and refused comment any further.
Which is not the case with me and my kind; us, the reemerging real men in this world. My friends and many co-workers stand all together on as this as a topic we share liberally and often with all the men we meet. More than reinforcing respect for the women in our lives, we stress the importance of remaining silent no longer if we hear, see or even suspect there is violence toward the people in our lives.
A no account piece a crap like you spouting twisted hate in some bar within the presence of myself or the men I know, would find himself vigorously persuaded to reconsider the next words he chose to speak. ItÂ’s a free world to think what you want but when you come out of corner bringing your demented discourse into the public forum, youÂ’ve become fair game. And if intelligent prodding convinces to no avail, then cheerfully I would invite you to step into alley behind the bar, so we may see how you hold up to having your head smashed repeatedly against a solid wall. And my defense?, why I would present as Exhibit A your illuminating alliteration.
A wise man you are keeping shielded your identity. You wouldn’t want to let to your friends and employer the misogynist you really are. Then known to all you would be the pariah you should be. I’m sure talking stupid goes over big with your inane horse scrota buddies at the Men’s News Daily. However, this, as well as your attempts to parley intelligentsia while “away from home”, reveal the insipid shallow child you are to be. For the future, reserve your drivel for your blog only so that we in the sphere can avoid it at all cost and snuff out your vile vitriol with determined disinterest.
In closing, misanthrope, on your knees you should fall and beg forgiveness to all mankind for your callous, rude and insensitive rant, as well as such misguided conviction.
While my voice I raise in praise for this brave soldier Laurel Makepeace OÂ’Keefe. She is woman for all intents and purposes who has not merely survived but emerged only stronger, despite horrific abuse and lingering suffering, while dispelling damage along the way. With intelligence accompanying as her hand maiden she has taken up as standard bearer with her voice speaking out the survivor's tone. ****
Posted by Manny Romero to Chasing Normal .. at 11/07/2005 10:51:25 AM
Nov 5, 2005
Rape victim takes stand after 30 years
Here is a story from the n.y times about a brave woman- who, 30 years after a brutal rape that went unsolved, is now facing her attacker in court; All due to DNA databanking for violent offenders. Dna evidence was not available at the time of this crime, but... samples from the rape were properly preserved and subsequently tested against offenders from a federal dna bank, a match was made with a repeat sex offender, who is now facing this latest set of charges stemming from a rape he long ago believed he'd gotten away with. http://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/03/nyregion/03rape.html
Oct 31, 2005
The Path Of Least Resistance
The following passage was taken from a recent post on the blog "Fine Malta" It really sums up well a discouraging tendency in others to ignore or minimize the experience of victims- of violence-or in my opinion, gross injustice of any kind.
"It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering."
http://Finemalta.blogspot.com/2005/10/psychology-of-torture-voip-basic-basic.html
"It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering."
http://Finemalta.blogspot.com/2005/10/psychology-of-torture-voip-basic-basic.html
A Just World?
NOTE;THE ITALICIZED TEXT BELOW IS A RE- POST OF A 2005 ARCHIVE ARTICLE. IT IS HOWEVER TIMELESS AND ONCE AGAIN, CURRENT EVENTS HAVE MADE ITS THE SUBJECT MATTER VERY APPROPOS ;PLEASE TAKE SOME TIME TO READ THE TWO LINKED ARTICLES, THEY MAY CHANGE THE WAY YOU THAT YOU THINK ABOUT SOME VERY IMPORTANT IMPORTANT MATTERS THAT AFFECT OR IWILL AFFECT SOMEONE THAT YOU CARE ABOUT
I just read two very interesting articles on the NATURE of justice, and something called cognitive dissonance -dont be put off by the lofty tone of it, it's a fairly a simple concept;
They help to explain why so many people are apathetic or judgemental of people who have been hurt or victimized by life events outside of their control. This includes of course victims of violent crime, who have been brutalized first by the crimes committed against them and then all too often doubley injured by a lackluster at best cruel at worst judicial "system."ThE very same they once undoubtedly once innocently assumed would be "THERE" if and when god forbid they ever should need to rely upon it. This includes institutuions such as the judicial court AND the law enforcemnt system, local social services, as well as down at the community level where the presumed support can fall cruelly short of what the victim aver anticipated. Indeed this profound lack of supoort combined with an element of cold hearted judgement-not of the perpetrator but of the victim-for somehow having "brought the tragic events upon themselves'-this is the fait de compli within the post traumatic stress experience, and indeed can be the final emotional insult which renders the victim unable to heal and thus stuck in an awful place.
I know of this.
Now altho this syndrome is common with victims of violent and or sexual crimes it certainly isnot exclusive to traumtic acts of violence caused by ones fellow man.; Weve seen it very
recently with hurricane katrina, victims...
( ie "they deserve what happens to them, they should of left..sooner, its their own fault' yadda ya
We also see it a lot with domestic and partner violence crime- before reading this article I had actually given it a name I called it the "pack of hyena effect": As a former victim of an violence crime I couldnt help but notice a very disturbing tendency among all kinds of otherwise "good" people to gang up, and do thier best to find the victim to blame somehow, for having been victimized and/or treated in any unjust manner.-I was also horrified to note that once someone was victimized in an especiallyovert way, there seemed to be a free for all of sorts for further victimization of that person, as if they were now up for grabs for our very worst behaviors, as permanent victims in effect. Marked.
These were terrible truths about human nature to be encountering after having just survived a violent crime, this I will tell you. I became emotionally and spiritually devastated more by the aftermath of the crime, than by the crime itself, which plainly speaking was horrific.
As past victim of these behaviors,(five years ago march) I was heartened and even somewhat vindicated by reading about what turns out are well known syndromes- I much prefer a rational understanding of how people could behave so badly towards someone who has just been terribly brutalized ,for the only other option was a floundering belief that people-and thus the world, must be inherently evil-For someone who is an idealist at heart, this was very nearly a kind of death.
Please Read these important articles, they will undoubtedly change the way you think and feel about victimization and Justice. The second link brings you to a page and its the 2nd post from the top of that page re PTSD -not the first post re hiv.
http://www.scu.edu/ethics/publications/iie/v3n2/justworld.html
http://www.respectfulofotters.blogspot.com/
I just read two very interesting articles on the NATURE of justice, and something called cognitive dissonance -dont be put off by the lofty tone of it, it's a fairly a simple concept;
They help to explain why so many people are apathetic or judgemental of people who have been hurt or victimized by life events outside of their control. This includes of course victims of violent crime, who have been brutalized first by the crimes committed against them and then all too often doubley injured by a lackluster at best cruel at worst judicial "system."ThE very same they once undoubtedly once innocently assumed would be "THERE" if and when god forbid they ever should need to rely upon it. This includes institutuions such as the judicial court AND the law enforcemnt system, local social services, as well as down at the community level where the presumed support can fall cruelly short of what the victim aver anticipated. Indeed this profound lack of supoort combined with an element of cold hearted judgement-not of the perpetrator but of the victim-for somehow having "brought the tragic events upon themselves'-this is the fait de compli within the post traumatic stress experience, and indeed can be the final emotional insult which renders the victim unable to heal and thus stuck in an awful place.
I know of this.
Now altho this syndrome is common with victims of violent and or sexual crimes it certainly isnot exclusive to traumtic acts of violence caused by ones fellow man.; Weve seen it very
recently with hurricane katrina, victims...
( ie "they deserve what happens to them, they should of left..sooner, its their own fault' yadda ya
We also see it a lot with domestic and partner violence crime- before reading this article I had actually given it a name I called it the "pack of hyena effect": As a former victim of an violence crime I couldnt help but notice a very disturbing tendency among all kinds of otherwise "good" people to gang up, and do thier best to find the victim to blame somehow, for having been victimized and/or treated in any unjust manner.-I was also horrified to note that once someone was victimized in an especiallyovert way, there seemed to be a free for all of sorts for further victimization of that person, as if they were now up for grabs for our very worst behaviors, as permanent victims in effect. Marked.
These were terrible truths about human nature to be encountering after having just survived a violent crime, this I will tell you. I became emotionally and spiritually devastated more by the aftermath of the crime, than by the crime itself, which plainly speaking was horrific.
As past victim of these behaviors,(five years ago march) I was heartened and even somewhat vindicated by reading about what turns out are well known syndromes- I much prefer a rational understanding of how people could behave so badly towards someone who has just been terribly brutalized ,for the only other option was a floundering belief that people-and thus the world, must be inherently evil-For someone who is an idealist at heart, this was very nearly a kind of death.
Please Read these important articles, they will undoubtedly change the way you think and feel about victimization and Justice. The second link brings you to a page and its the 2nd post from the top of that page re PTSD -not the first post re hiv.
http://www.scu.edu/ethics/publications/iie/v3n2/justworld.html
http://www.respectfulofotters.blogspot.com/
Oct 25, 2005
A Must Read for Domestic Violence
It is rare to find any one article written on the subject of domestic violence that is both unapologetically honest and dead-on insightful- never mind an entire collection of them... Kudos to "Mother Jones" for doing just that with this excellent expose on the domestic violence crisis in our country today;
http://www.motherjones.com/news/featurex/2005/07/haven.html As a survivor of intimate violence, I identified with everything in this series, particularly "The Counselor's" appraisal of the current mis- utilization of our courts many victims advocacy offices, who having become swallowed up by the bureaucracy of the the local judicial systems that encompass and in the end, cripple them--I personally can attest to this very syndrome in my own domestic assault case, heard at Golden hill St Court Ga2 in Bridgeport, Connecticut.(Pictured).This is clearly not what was intended when these entities were created, and it is in fact a tremendous waste of resources, resource that is hard-won and slated for the saving and rebuilding of lives.
If you are a woman, or if you care about women (and remember, our girls grow to become women) You need to read this important piece on the real issues surrounding DV in this country today. http://www.motherjones.com/news/featurex/2005/07/haven.html
http://www.motherjones.com/news/featurex/2005/07/haven.html As a survivor of intimate violence, I identified with everything in this series, particularly "The Counselor's" appraisal of the current mis- utilization of our courts many victims advocacy offices, who having become swallowed up by the bureaucracy of the the local judicial systems that encompass and in the end, cripple them--I personally can attest to this very syndrome in my own domestic assault case, heard at Golden hill St Court Ga2 in Bridgeport, Connecticut.(Pictured).This is clearly not what was intended when these entities were created, and it is in fact a tremendous waste of resources, resource that is hard-won and slated for the saving and rebuilding of lives.If you are a woman, or if you care about women (and remember, our girls grow to become women) You need to read this important piece on the real issues surrounding DV in this country today. http://www.motherjones.com/news/featurex/2005/07/haven.html
Oct 23, 2005
Good start for DV in Healthcare System
Heres some quasi-heartening news, a precedent of sorts being set by some healthcare professionals in Michigan...read about it here;
http://www.hispanicbusiness.com/news/newsbyid.asp?id=26191
http://www.hispanicbusiness.com/news/newsbyid.asp?id=26191
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